CS2 The Dark Temple

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AlMan
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by AlMan »

MinkyBoodle wrote: Sat Mar 07, 2020 12:20 am
AlMan wrote: Fri Mar 06, 2020 5:46 pm Before Chii does a stat block update to this wanted to let him and Solo know I'm going through this with my Warhammer of Red Ink +3. Surprised at the number of things I'm finding that I hadn't noticed before. :shock:
I'm prepared to see my entry covered in blood...er, red ink.
Feel free to take your Great Axe +2 to my portion, or to any other document that you want to edit. :lol:
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AlMan
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by AlMan »

Here are the corrections I found this time, surprised I hadn't picked up on these before.

Page 1 – Introduction – Paragraph 2
Was:
tiebreaking
Changed to:
tie-breaking

Page 1 – Introduction – Paragraph 2
Was:
frontrunners
Changed to:
front-runners

Page 1 – Introduction – Paragraph 3
Was:
playtesting
Changed to:
play-testing

Page 2 – Game Master’s Introduction – Paragraph 3
Was:
Basic Fantasy Field Guide, volumes 1 to 3
Changed to:
Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volumes 1 – 3

Page 4 – Adventure Hook – Paragraph 8
Was:
… with tears welding up in his eyes:
Changed to:
… with tears welling up in his eyes:

Page 6 – Paragraph 1
Was:
If the party expresses an interest in attending the Ceremony or seeing Zewlac or themselves, …
Changed to:
If the party expresses an interest in attending the Ceremony or seeing Zewlac for themselves, …

Page 15 – 20. Tomb of St Trillod – Boxed text paragraph 2
Was:
Several piles of blankets are stuffed on the edges of room.
Changed to:
Several piles of blankets are stuffed on the edges of the room.

Page 18 – Second paragraph after boxed text.
Removed one of the two periods in the last sentence.
Was:
The temple's lower level contains large reservoirs of holy water in rooms 30, 32, and 33..
Changed to:
The temple's lower level contains large reservoirs of holy water in rooms 30, 32, and 33.

Page 20 – 33. Pool of Offering and Sacrifice – Second boxed text paragraph 2
Was:
Columns, walls, and, ceiling are covered in thousands of polished ceramic tiles in blue and green tiles.
Changed to:
Columns, walls, and, ceiling are covered in thousands of polished blue and green ceramic tiles.

Page 21 – What’s Really Going On? – Paragraph 5
Was:
The Horror Within which is the original evil high priests (now undead themselves) and his horrifying creation, the original hobgoblin chieftain they reanimated as a nauseatingly undead abomination.
Changed to:
The Horror Within are the original evil high priests (now undead themselves) and their horrifying creation, the original hobgoblin chieftain they reanimated as a nauseatingly undead abomination.

Page 25 – Silbach – Stat block
AC for Plate is 17.
Was:
AC 16
Changed to:
AC 17

Page 25 – Slink – Stat block
AC for Leather is 13.
Was:
AC 14
Changed to:
AC 13

Page 30 – 33. The Horror Within – Paragraph 1
Was:
The two robed figures are the undead embodiment of the two evil high priests imprisoned here who raised the hobgoblin chief as the undead zombie beast it is still. The sealed door contained these evil beings and now they must be dealt with or they will escape this temple, raising any dead they come across, and ravage the land with their ever-growing army. The undead hobgoblin chief wields the great axe it used in life, which is a magical +1 weapon. This room is an unholy place and so Clerics cannot turn the undead within.
Changed to:
The two robed figures are the undead embodiment of two evil high priests imprisoned here, they raised the hobgoblin chief as an undead zombie beast. The sealed door contained these evil beings, now they must be dealt with or they will escape the temple, raising any dead the evil beings come across, and ravage the land with an ever-growing army. The undead hobgoblin chief wields the magical great axe +1 it used in life. This room is an unholy place and so Clerics cannot turn the undead.

Page 32 – GM Background – Paragraph 1
Was:
… the events that happened there centuries ago will prove to have a very palpable impact in the present day.
Changed to:
… the events that happened here centuries ago will prove to have a very palpable impact on the present day.

Page 35 – Weird Scene #3 – Boxed text
Was:
Those presenting the gifts appear nervous and frightened, which are carried into the temple through a large double door.
Changed to:
Those presenting the gifts appear nervous and frightened, the gifts are carried into the temple through a large double door.

Page 35 – Weird Scene #5 – Boxed text
Was:
A man with long black hair directs a group of workers who are mounting a large octagonal frame to the wall of and underground chamber.
Changed to:
A man with long black hair directs a group of workers who are mounting a large octagonal frame to the wall of an underground chamber.

Page 36 – Boggart – HP Blocks
Was:
HP 12 ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐
Changed to:
HP 12 ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐

Page 36 – Boggart, Quasit, and Grimlock
Was:
From the “Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1”.
Changed to:
From the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 37 – Paragraph 1
Was:
Weapons and armor are strictly unavailable from any the vendors.
Changed to:
Weapons and armor are strictly unavailable from any of the vendors.

Page 37 – Jack – Stat block
Move fists from Dam field to #At field.
Was:
… #At 1, Dam 1d4 fists, …
Changed to:
… #At 1 fists, Dam 1d4, …

Page 38 – Vheld'broggn – Paragraph 2
Was:
It will attempt to use these tentacles to capture targets and pull them into its maw where it will rend and chew them to death before regurgitating their bloody remains.
Change to
Vheld'broggn will grab a victim with the tentacles, pull the victim to its maw to rend and chew the victim to death, then regurgitate the bloody remains.

Page 39 – Rumors – #6
Was:
The “thing in the other room” spoken in hushed tones with glance towards the double doors, referring to the apparition in area 14.
Changed to:
The “thing in the other room” spoken in hushed tones with a furtive glance towards the double doors, referring to the apparition in area 14.

Page 41 – 10. Director’s Quarters – Paragraph 2
Changed phrasing so it is the emeralds that are 20 gp and not the pouch.
Was:
It contains 3,500 gp, 2,700 sp, 400 cp, and 50 emeralds in a pouch worth 20 gp each.
Changed to:
It contains 3,500 gp, 2,700 sp, 400 cp, and 50 emeralds, worth 20 gp each, in a pouch.

Page 48 – 27. Secret Corrudor – Boxed text
Was:
The corridor has a dirt floor, and the walls and are lined with brick.
Changed to:
The corridor has a dirt floor, and the walls are lined with brick.

Page 49 – 31. Gargoyle Closet - 2nd Boxed text
Was:
Behind the pedestal appears to be open box full of coin.
Changed to:
Behind the pedestal appears to be an open box full of coins.

Page 57 – 19. Secret Storage – Paragraph 2
Was:
Just outside the door for Room 20 is a hallway that ends a secret door.
Change to:
Just outside the door for Room 20 is a hallway that ends at a secret door.

Page 58 – 23. Priestess’ Study – First paragraph after second boxed text.
Was:
… one is noteworthy as saying that the acolyte may have to be transferred …
Changed to:
… one is noteworthy as saying that an acolyte may have to be transferred …

Page 59 – 26. Kitchen – 2 Common Deep Ones – HP blocks
Was:
16 ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐
Changed to:
16 ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐☐☐☐☐ ☐

Page 63 – Introduction – Paragraph 4
Was:
… and research into way to contact his dark gods. He also despised humans and took great pleasure in corrupting Farin’s mind.
Changed to:
… and research into a way to contact his dark gods. Vriruh also despises humans and took great pleasure in corrupting Farin’s mind.

Page 67 – 19. Hidden Storage – Paragraph 1
Was:
Farin, before he fully succumbed to his madness, grew paranoid was afraid that he might one day need to again take up arms against his enemies.
Changed to:
Farin, before he fully succumbed to his madness, grew paranoid, afraid that he might one day need to again take up arms against his enemies.

Page 74 – 18. Shadowy Room – Treasure paragraph
Was:
Piled in the northeast corner is 1,800 gp, 1,00 pp, …
Changed to:
Piled in the northeast corner are 1,800 gp, 1,000 pp, …

Page 76 – 27. Wraiths – Treasure paragraph
Was:
On the ground below the embedded yellow orb is 2,200 gp, 600 cp, …
Changed to:
On the ground below the embedded yellow orb are 2,200 gp, 600 cp, …

Page 76 – 28. Statue Gallery – Boxed text
Was:
Opposite of the doors, the wall is set back ten feet.
Changed to:
Opposite the doors, the wall is set back ten feet.

Page 77 – 32. Bedroom – Treasure paragraph
Was:
Underneath the bed is 900 pp, …
Changed to:
Underneath the bed are 900 pp, …

Page 77 – 33. Fiend’s Lair – Paragraph 1
Removed italic from book title since it isn’t mentioned in the Style Guide.
Was:
Note: For details on the Shadow Fiend, see the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 2.
Changed to:
Note: For details on the Shadow Fiend, see the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 2.

Page 77 – 33. Fiend’s Lair – Treasure paragraph
Was:
Piled behind the northeast pillar is 1,500 gp,
Changed to:
Piled behind the northeast pillar are 1,500 gp,

Posted r7 to Project folder.
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AlMan
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by AlMan »

I'll let Solo and Chii sort these particulars out:

Can the image of Zewlac be moved from page 6 to page 12 after “D) The First Revelation” boxed text and before “E) The Second Revelation” title.

Page 23 – Nebi – HP Block
Why are there two blocks with an X in them? Nothing in the text says that Nebi is injured.

Page 27 – 17. Enchanted Portcullis with a Disk – Paragraph 1
Does the trap have to be bolded? It isn’t a spell so I was thinking, no.
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chiisu81
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by chiisu81 »

Worked on r7. Moved the zewlac image, fixed Nebi's HP checkboxes, undid direct formatting on several HP checkboxes, corrected text size for several blocks of text, and unbolded text that shouldn't be.
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Solomoriah
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by Solomoriah »

Announcing!

CS2 The Dark Temple, Release 7 -- July 18, 2020
Al Vetter made a large number of corrections to this book, and then James Lemon made a pass through and did even more. The book is looking pretty good, but it needs art and playtesting. Anyone interested?

https://basicfantasy.org/downloads.html#cs2
My personal site: www.gonnerman.org
jdn2006
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by jdn2006 »

The “file title” and hence PDF title is “The Basic Fantasy Field Guide of Creatures Malevolent and Benign”.


Page 46 17. CISTERN: “lighting bolt” = “lightning bolt” (missing “n” after “light”)


Page 68 24. VRIRUH’S PERSONAL CHAMBERS: “human’s” = “humans”
jdn2006
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by jdn2006 »

Pages 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31 – numerous room entries lack a colon after the name.

3. ACOLYTE’S CHAMBER
4. PRIEST’S CHAMBER
5. SPIDER’S LAIR
6. STAIRS LEADING TO MIDDLE LEVEL
7. GOBLINS’ LAST STAND
8. INITIATE'S CHAMBERS
9. INITIATE'S CHAMBERS
10. INITIATE'S CHAMBERS
11. INITIATES CHAMBERS
12. INITIATES CHAMBERS
13. HIGH STAKES POKER
14. GIANT HAWK’S LAIR
15. GUARDIANS OF THE STAIRWELL
16. GOBLIN LEADER’S QUARTERS
17. ENCHANTED PORTCULLIS WITH A DISK
18. CHAMBER OF JUDGMENT
19. SECRET STOREROOM
20. BASIN OF BLESSINGS
21. ARMORED GUARDIANS
22. HOBGOBLIN LEADER
23. SKELETAL STORAGE
24. UNLUCKY GOBLIN AND SKELETAL STORAGE
25. KEYHOLE ROOM
26. KEYHOLE ROOM
27.GOLDEN DISK AND ITS GUARDIAN
28. THE SEALED DOOR
29. ALCHEMY LAB
30. KEY CHAMBER
31. CLERIC SUPPLY CLOSET
32. KEYHOLE ROOM
33. THE HORROR WITHIN


Pages 66, 67, 68, 69, 70 – numerous room entries lack a colon after the name.

15. RUST MONSTER PEN
16. SHADOW ROOM
17. SECRET GARDEN
18. EMPTY ROOM
19. HIDDEN STORAGE
20. FARIN’S FINAL RESTING PLACE
21. ANTECHAMBER
22. WELCOME TO THE THIRD FLOOR
23. THE BATH
24. VRIRUH’S PERSONAL CHAMBERS
25. DINING OF THE DEEP ONES
26. DEEP WELL
27. DANK AND MOLDY HALLWAY
28. HALL AND FOYER
29. ROOM OF THE DEEP ONES
30. DARK AREA
31. PRISON
32. ROOM OF PUNISHMENT
33. GRAND HALL
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chiisu81
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by chiisu81 »

r8 put in Projects folder, with JD's corrections (and credit added on title page)
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Zoltors Inkwell
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by Zoltors Inkwell »

Did this but not sure if it fits any particular section. Feel free to us it if you can find a spot for it.
summon.png
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Solomoriah
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Re: CS2 The Dark Temple

Post by Solomoriah »

NICE. We'll definitely see if we have a place for it!
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