DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

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Solomoriah
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Fri Mar 17, 2017 9:18 am

AlMan wrote:Hint taken. :D
???

What hint?
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AlMan
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Sat Mar 18, 2017 12:21 pm

I thought you or Chii mentioned print edition...

Here is my take on corrections for version 14 since I didn't see version 15 yet.

Edits for DC1 – Tales from the Laughing Dragon


The Search for the Missing Gnome


Throughout the adventure weapons are mentioned in the damage stat within parenthesis the other BFRPG Adventure Modules put the named weapon in the attack (AT) section. The example below is from the Hobgoblin Patrol on page 3
Currently:
(AC 14, HD 1, #At 1 weapon, Dam 1d8 (morningstar), Mv 30', Sv F1, Ml 8)
Suggest:
AC 14, HD 1, #At 1 morningstar, Dam 1d8, Mv 30', Sv F1, Ml 8
Need to check every monster!

Page 3 – All monster stats, on this page, are in parenthesis, although consistent on this page the monsters listed within the rest of this adventure don’t have parenthesis around the stat blocks. The parenthesis also aren’t the norm for other BFRPG adventures. See the sample above.

Page 3 – All monsters with two columns of HP boxes, can the columns be further apart so the second column doesn’t get mixed up with the first, most notable in the entries for Mercenary Guards and Wolves.

Page 3 – Giant Flies stat block
List HD 2 and Sv F1, page 80 of the Core Rules shows that the Giant Fly has a Save As of Fighter 2.

Page 3 – NPC: Shoshanna Smythe stat block
No entry for HD, if the Sv is correct it should be HD 2.

Page 3 – NPC: Shoshanna Smythe description
seems wordy
Currently:
NOTE: Shoshanna is one of the town guards from the town of Dale.
Suggest:
NOTE: Shoshanna is one of the town guards from Dale.

Page 3 – Mercenary Guards stat block
No entry for HD, if the Sv is correct it should be HD 2.

Page 3 – Orc Patrol
Consistent spelling and capitalization
Currently:
Short bow
Suggest:
shortbow

Page 5 – 5. Patrol Barracks: - Hobgoblin stats
Capitalization consistency in Hobgoblin stats
Currently:
Longsword
Suggest:
longsword

Page 5 – 7. Undead Guardians – Skeleton Warriors stats
Capitalization consistency in Skeleton Warriors stats
Currently:
Scimitar
Suggest:
scimitar

Page 6 – 15. Ambush Room – Skeleton stats
Capitalization consistency in Skeleton stats
Currently:
Scimitar
Suggest:
scimitar

Page 7 – 18. Watchdogs – Warg (large wolves) stats
If these are a different breed of wolf between Normal and Dire wolf may consider changing the Save As to F3 to follow the rule on Core Rules, Save As section on page 54, “Most monsters save as Fighters of a level equal to their hit dice.”


The Hunt for Valanunthe


Throughout the adventure weapons are mentioned in the damage stat within parenthesis the other BFRPG Adventure Modules put the named weapon in the attack (AT) section. The example below is from the Hobgoblin Patrol on page 12
Currently:
(AC 14, HD 1, #At 1 weapon, Dam 1d8 (morningstar), Mv 30', Sv F1, Ml 8)
Suggest:
AC 14, HD 1, #At 1 morningstar, Dam 1d8, Mv 30', Sv F1, Ml 8
Need to check every monster!

Page 12 – All monster stats, on this page, are in parenthesis, although consistent on this page the monsters listed within the rest of this adventure don’t have parenthesis around the stat blocks. The parenthesis also aren’t the norm for other BFRPG adventures. See the sample above.

Page 12 – All monsters with two columns of HP boxes, can the columns be further apart so the second column doesn’t get mixed up with the first, most notable in the entry for Mercenary Guards.

Page 12 – Gnoll Patrol stat block
Consistent capitalization
Currently:
Flail
Suggest:
flail

Page 12 – Gnoll Patrol stat block
List HD 2 and Sv F1, page 87 of the Core Rules shows that the Gnoll has a Save As of Fighter 2.

Page 12 – Mercenary Guards stat block
No entry for HD, if the Sv is correct it should be HD 2.

Page 13 – 2E. What are you doing here - Hobgoblin stats
Capitalization consistency in Hobgoblin stats, also where weapon is mentioned.
Currently:
Longsword
Suggest:
longsword

Page 15 – Valanunthe’s Room – Valanunthe’s stats
Placement of weapon names and spelling
Currently:
Valanunthe: Elven Fighter/Magic User 3, AC 15, #At 1, Dam 1d8+3(4*)(+1 Longsword) 1d6+3 (Bow), Mv 40', Ml 9
Suggest:
Valanunthe: Elven Fighter/Magic User 3, AC 15, #At 1 +1 Longsword/longbow, Dam 1d8+3(4*)/1d6+3, Mv 40', Ml 9

Page 15 – Valanunthe’s Room – Equipment
Currently:
Long Bow
Suggest:
Longbow

Page 15 – 9. Captain of the Guard: second text box.
This text box should be split in two to prevent confusion
Currently:
(only read this part if Willard was not in the room) It looks like somebody is living in this area but is not at home.(End)
There is a lantern and some fuel oil sitting on a crate as well as a bedroll lying on top of some straw bedding in the far corner of the room. In the north wall there is a small recess containing an empty wash basin. Against the east wall you see a small table and a single chair. The only other oddity here is a lever on the south wall with the lever in the 'Up' position.
Suggest:
[Put this paragraph in a box]
(Only read this part if Willard was not in the room) It looks like somebody is living in this area but is not at home.
[Put this paragraph in a separate box]
There is a lantern and some fuel oil sitting on a crate as well as a bedroll lying on top of some straw bedding in the far corner of the room. In the north wall there is a small recess containing an empty wash basin. Against the east wall you see a small table and a single chair. The only other oddity here is a lever on the south wall with the lever in the 'Up' position.

Page 16 – 10E. Surprise! - Orc stats
Placement of weapon names and spelling
Currently:
4 Orc Fighters: AC14 (11), HD 1, #At 1 weapon, Dam 1d8 (Longsword), Mv 40', Sv F1, Ml 8
Suggest:
4 Orc Fighters: AC14 (11), HD 1, #At 1 longsword, Dam 1d8, Mv 40', Sv F1, Ml 8
also
Currently:
2 Orc Archers: AC14 (11), HD 1, #At 1 weapon, Dam 1d6 (Bow/Shortsword), Mv 40', Sv F1, Ml 8
Suggest:
2 Orc Archers: AC14 (11), HD 1, #At 1 shortbow/shortsword, Dam 1d6/1d6, Mv 40', Sv F1, Ml 8

Page 17 – 12. Kobold Barracks
I’m won’t mention the missing kobolds since Tommi Brander found it, Good job Tommi!!!


Rodemus Keep


Page 20 – Text box – The Laughing Dragon Inn
Plot point – The party has not met Captain Luke Mattind, yet so they will not know who he is until Fonkin introduces him. May I suggest that the innkeeper and Fonkin are named and they are with a third man dressed in armor with the decorations of a captain. Then during Fonkin’s speech he introduces the third man as “Captain of the Guards, Luke Mattind”.

Page 21 – GM’s Information to Wilderness Encounters
Can the Encounter section be put into line with the GM’s Information the column breaks are confusing and a person could go from the GM Information to Wilderness Encounter and back to GM Information on the second column.

Page 21 – GM’s Information – paragraph 6
Character continuity Arlen is the father, Galen is the child according to paragraph 5.
Currently:
Galen and Sarah don't know that the undead attacking the keep are their ancestors.
Suggest:
Arlen and Sarah don't know that the undead attacking the keep are their ancestors.

Page 21 – Bandits stats
None of the Bandits have HD or Sv stats, may also want to put the weapon name in the AT section of the stats.

Throughout the adventure weapons are mentioned in the damage stat within parenthesis the other BFRPG Adventure Modules put the named weapon in the attack (AT) section in lower case. The example below is from the Bandit Party on page 21
Currently:
(AC 13, #At 1, Dam 1d6, Mv 40', Ml 9)
(INT 4 (-2) CHR 14 (+1))
Equipment: Leather Armor, Shortsword
Suggest:
AC 13, HD 1, #At 1 shortsword, Dam 1d6, Mv 40', Sv F1, Ml 9
(INT 4 (-2) CHR 14 (+1))
Equipment: Leather Armor, Shortsword
Need to check every monster!

Page 21 and 22 – All monster stats, on these pages, are in parenthesis, although consistent on the pages the monsters listed within the rest of this adventure don’t have parenthesis around the stat blocks. The parenthesis also aren’t the norm for other BFRPG adventures. See the sample above.

Page 22 – Can the Goblin Scouts be put in line with the other Random monsters to not confuse people reading the first column to the second column. (Doing this may eliminate the large blank space after the Goblin Scout entry.

Page 24 – 4. Commander’s Office – Girck stats
The stats are in parenthesis, the next monsters (3 Hobgoblins) don’t have parenthesis around their stats block. The parenthesis also aren’t the norm for other BFRPG adventures. Also put the weapon names in the AT section of the stats.

Page 25 Can the Goblin stats and Room 10 be moved to be in line with the rest of the main floor rooms. This is so no one goes from the Main floor room 9 to the Catacombs and then back to the main floor on the second column. (The reason I’m making these requests is that I zoom in to show only one column at a time so I can see the words, reading down the column on the left and then the one on the right. When columns are broken like this it can be confusing going from one section to another).

Page 28 – There is no description for Room 15.

Page 32 – OGL
Since the Basic Fantasy Field Guide is mentioned in the third adventure, (pg 3, 25, 27) it should also be mentioned here.
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Solomoriah
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Sat Mar 18, 2017 4:43 pm

AlMan wrote:I thought you or Chii mentioned print edition...
Dude, I'm just stupid or something, but I still don't get it. Doesn't matter though. If for some reason you think you've done something even a little bit wrong, or that we are hinting that you did, well, don't be thinking that. It ain't so.
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AlMan
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:12 pm

Solomoriah wrote:
AlMan wrote:I thought you or Chii mentioned print edition...
Dude, I'm just stupid or something, but I still don't get it. Doesn't matter though. If for some reason you think you've done something even a little bit wrong, or that we are hinting that you did, well, don't be thinking that. It ain't so.
Solo, sorry to confuse you, I meant that I took it as a hint to do an edit of the Laughing Dragon Module. It always seems you or Chii declare a print edition and I end up finding a large number of edits that stops it. :oops:
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:45 pm

Ah, so. :D
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chiisu81
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Mon Mar 20, 2017 1:19 pm

Hehe, yeah that wasn't a dig specifically at you Al, just that feedback can often roll in long after we've moved forward with a new print release. Any edits found, and you're one of the best!, makes our work and us all look better. 8-)

Looks like there's quite a bit of polish still to be done. Solo if you want to incorporate Al's corrections for R15 that's cool, otherwise I'll correct my copy and re-email to you.
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Solomoriah
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:25 pm

Why don't you keep carrying this ball for a while longer.
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chiisu81
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:49 am

Ok posting R15 here for review. If all looks good will then email to Solo for print release candidate. Al, I made most of your corrections.
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chiisu81
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Thu Mar 23, 2017 1:21 pm

Re-reading R15 and making a lot more little corrections. Will likely post an R16 before too long, and then if nothing else found over the weekend will then email to Solo.
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AlMan
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Re: DC1 Tales from the Laughing Dragon

Post Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:19 pm

I'll give it another look.
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