[AA2] The Temple at Hillman Point

[chiisu81]

Getting this thing put together to hopefully be good enough to get into AA2. I still need to fill in some more room descriptions and polish most of the rest. I could use input on the treasure that could be found.

This adventure can now be found in AA2 on the Downloads page.

[k_ba]

Hey, good stuff, very linear but perfect for my little group of players.

Here is some input, optional of course for the parts I could get through while eating lunch today.

I ended up making a bunch of recommendations that you should feel free to ignore or alter if you wish. Just added some descriptiveness and tried to be helpful. My semi-useless English degree paying off here, I hope.

"the graveyard"
"After the first major bend in the road sits an abandoned graveyard." to "After the first major bend, the road passes through an abandoned graveyard." or "After the first major bend in the road, the party comes into a graveyard along the sides of the road." This will necessitate the players making their way through the graveyard.

"fork in the road"
Tried to add clarity."Continuing down the road the party will come to a point where they turn west. At this point a river comes into view a short ways down the road. The party can see that the bridge that crossed the river has been destroyed by unknown means."

"Hillman Point"
"Traveling northeast from Locran the terrain quickly becomes hilly. Approaching the coast the party can see a promontory next to the water that stands even higher than the surrounding hills. Hillman Point.
Sitting out on this point is the temple, surrounded on three sides by a deeply shaded oak forest.
As the party approaches the temple's entrance, they encounter a pack of wolves sleeping under a towering oak."

The Temple
None of the locals seem to know who built this ancient temple on Hillman Point. At one point someone sealed the temple doors and no one has had the nerve to pry them open since.
Those brave or foolhardy enough to visit the temple environs tell lurid tales of the strange noises they heard and the lights they saw flashing wildly from the windows.

[chiisu81]

You are a far better and more fluid writer than I am. I feel I'm a better editor than content creator; the only writing I'm good at is screenwriting, which is extremely terse. Thank you for the feedback, I'll likely incorporate all of these changes. It is indeed a bit railroady, but as I always intended it for AA2 I wanted to keep it on the short side. Later on I will likely expand or add another short module for the castle.

[mTeasdale]

I could use input on the treasure that could be found.

A helm of editing and spell checking ?

[chiisu81]

he is now impervious to the egregious use of it's vs. its!

New release posted with k_ba's edits (thank you again! credit added) and a little more fleshed out; still have quite a bit to do.

[chiisu81]

Another small release; some content and format fixes, and OGL added.

[mTeasdale]

Starting to look great ! Here's a few of my suggestions :

1. Room 5, I would add where is the green slime. On the ceiling, in the wash basin, somewhere else ?

2. Room 11, adding a description of a stirge's nest made from random trash or something would add some flavour I think.

3. Room 12, adding a special power to the scepter would cool. Maybe count as a silver club ?

4. Room 17, a clerical scroll maybe ? Those seems to make sense in a temple. I personally love to give scrolls of spells that my players pretty much never prepare. Locate object maybe ? For room 15, maybe the open book maybe have a special power, like blessing the first character who read it for 1d6 hours ?

5. Room 16, I think = a description/value of the jewels and a list of the weapons would be necessary.

6. All the crow stuff makes me wonder, maybe a werecrow (new monster) would be nice ?

7. Do you plan on making a Castle Devyn adventure ? Would be nice to be able to link 2-3 adventures. If you need some help, let me know, I may have some time for that.

[chiisu81]

Thank you for the feedback I just got some more stuff from Keith so I'll work on your points to add to what he's added as well.

7. Do you plan on making a Castle Devyn adventure ? Would be nice to be able to link 2-3 adventures. If you need some help, let me know, I may have some time for that.

I would definitely like to create that additional adventure, probably for a little higher-level party than what's meant for this one. I think I'll start sketching out a map (either by hand or MapMatic +2), but I would certainly welcome anyone to help!

[mTeasdale]

If you sketch it by hand and want someone to do it in Mapmatic, I'm starting to get used to it and could get the map done if needed.

[chiisu81]

R4 uploaded. Tons of new content from Keith, he really makes this come alive and I can't thank him enough for his writing and attention to details! I also added in mTeasdale's suggestions, thanks! Also re-scanned outdoor map as island edges were hard to see, so darkened that and other things a little more. Once I've given my eyes a rest I'll go back through and add some more, and if anyone else sees something that needs tweaking, adding, etc.

If you sketch it by hand and want someone to do it in Mapmatic, I'm starting to get used to it and could get the map done if needed.

That would probably work best for me; once I have enough sketched out I'll start a new thread in Workshop. Arrrg between this and the way Keith re-wrote the last sentence not only do I have something for Castle Devyn stirring in my brain but now something for the mountains and Mount Shanaz! Can all 3 make it into AA2 in time? Will chiisu survive and not bleed from his eyes as he strains to finally flex those creative muscles? We shall see!