Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

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teluria
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Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Tue Sep 04, 2012 4:44 pm

I am hoping this will result in a couple of more players joining our troop.

Joe the Rat has become our unofficial history keeper, though I give out xp bonuses for anyone who writes a blog entry on the website to help keep a running history of the game. I plan on writing my own treatment eventually, but I have been dealing with real life stuff for the last few months.

So here's an extract of Joe's character (Pug the Halfling fighter) story:

It was a stroke of luck running into Dust and Harl on the road. I've got a bit of a reputation as a hot-head, but I'm a nice guy, really. Besides, you never know when you'll run into trouble on the road. Strength in numbers, they say (and when those numbers include a rather imposing looking Human and a Dwarf with a knack for setting things on fire, all the better).

But our journey to Three Roads was uneventful. A pity, really. City wardens are always much happier to see me when I've got bandits to turn in. Not that they're ever happy to see me. Must be my reputation as a mercenary. But we get to town, and take care of some pressing business - getting something to drink. That's where we first set our eyes on Delara. She's the kind of woman that'd make a man try and steal the moon if she asked nicely, and P'thun might not object, if it was for her. I'd a mind to call on her, if she were only of a more reasonable height. Seems that she's the source of many local troubles, in a way. The local wizard, Aladar the "Hey are they serving wine?" ...or something. I wasn't paying close attention. He's a bad combination, a man with the power to twist nature to his bidding, and madly in love with a woman who doesn't care.

It seems our mad magician had asked the fine maid Delara (mmmm) to marry him... to which she replies "When pigs fly." Now, I might not be the shiniest crown in the coinpurse, but it was plain to see how that would end. Sure enough, he went home, and made a flying pig for her. In a bit of absent-mindedness (perhaps there was wine involved?), he left a window open, and it flew away. This is where we come in. He wanted us to find his flying pig. My purse was getting a bit thin, but this was a ridiculous job, particularly for a professional such as myself. It'd take a lot of Gold Imperials to get me on this job.

Five hundred is a lot of Imperials. Dust just about bowled me over when he heard how much. The fella's been feeling a little lean, though if that's normal for him he can't say for sure.

So we get our gear, get ourselves a net from the local general store (run by a strange gnome... but that's like saying "burly dwarf" or "indecisive sproog"... more on him later), and set out to find our pig. Following a lead from a local farmer, we head into the woods. We run into a sorry looking pair of wanderers, who none of us took for well-meaning. Harl was nice enough to feed 'em though, and send them off to town. Maybe Aladar will have some burrowing carp for them to locate. Then our fortunes turned - squealing, and lots of it. Only problem, it was coming from a giant spider web... complete with giant spider. We took a couple of shots at it to bring it down to where we could take care of it properly, preferably squashed flat by The Judge.

Hmm? Oh, that's my mace. It settles arguments very quickly, often in my favor. Wulfram named it. The other suggestion was "Reconsidering Your Thoughts About Having A Family," but the handle wasn't long enough for all of that.

A couple of Dusk's arrows, a few good whacks from The Judge, and a firey bolt from Harl, and it was finished. Now all we had to do was get the web cut down from the tree. This is where we learned that Dwarves do not climb trees. Three times, Harl tried to go up. Three times, he barely cleared the ground before landing unceremoniously on his robust rear. Lucky for us, Dusk knows a bit about gettin' in places, trees included. So up he goes to cut down the web, with it's wildly squealing bundle. Harl and I stand ready with the net, to keep it from getting away. The bundle comes down, and out wriggles a pig.

A big pig.

The wrong pig.

It was, in fact, a large, angry, wild boar.

This was not what we were expecting.

This boar was not happy about being caught in a web, having stray shots lobbed at it, or being dumped on the ground head first. And it decides Harl is the reason it was having a bad day, and goes charging at him. Harl does what a sane being confronted with an angry boar would do - he tries to get away, by climbing the tree he was standing next to. He was moving so fast, I thought he'd just run up the side. The tree, however, was not kind to him, and left him on the ground.

So here is Harl, sitting on the ground next to a rather inhospitable tree, with an angry boar bearing down on him. It would not end well. So I did the only reasonable thing... okay, so maybe reasonable isn't the right way to put it, but no way am I going to let one third or our party die on the first day of our quest, at the business end of the wrong swine. Right before it passes me, The Judge imparts a bit of insight into the Boar, with a fractured skull. It's not going down, but at least now it's after me, not Harl. One problem at a time. I keep it busy, and we take the beast down... and proceed to carve it up for dinner. There's no way I'm letting that much meat go to waste, and boar tastes a lot better than travel cakes. We also found a bit of loot in the spider's webs. So flying pig or no, we've already made some coin, and a rather nice supper. Better luck tomorrow.

You think you’re done for the day, and more trouble comes along.

After we settled out accounts with the boar, and set up to smoke some meat over the fire, we set our watch for the night. So as I’m letting the big guys catch a quick 40, out of nowhere comes this Elf dame, appearing out of the woods like she was coming out of the trees themselves. Now, I’m not normally one for the fair folk, or maybe I’ve been hanging out with the boys too long, but this lithe creature was easy on the eyes. Delicate features, shining eyes, not too tall... But whatever elven magic she may have brought, it was broken the moment she opened her mouth.

Not a charmer, this one.

Seems she’s looking for a Halfling, and thought I might be him. We exchanged a few words, I introduced myself, and recommended that she settle down lest The Judge have a thing or two to say. Apparently we were a bit loud, since we woke up Dust, who has sensitive ears, and Harl, who snores like a rock slide. The other fellas were feeling a bit more sociable, and invited her to join the fire. Apparently the Elf, Euphema, is after a Halfling that robbed her family, under pretenses of being a Gnome. I’m not entirely sure why you’d invest in a Gnome, either, but this charlatan cleaned them out. Revenge – now that I understand. It also turns out she’s one of them fightin’ priests, and had caught wind of our pig on the wing. Given her plight, and useful skills and information, we invited her into our little expedition.

The next day, we follow Euphema’s lead, and find a hole in the ground, guarded by dogs. I’d have passed it by, except that something guarded by dogs is generally worth a look. The dogs also decided they didn’t like the look of us, and that we needed a little attention. That or I yelled at them to come and get me... I’m a little fuzzy on the details. These were fast beasts too – we had a hard time taking them down. Euphema and I got a bite each for our trouble, and poor Harl was treated like a leftover soup bone. He got his justice, though, and roasted one of the hounds to ash. Between the four of us, we managed to get rid of the beasties. Deciding that this had been a fight too heavy to explore the unknown (and Harl was whistling a bit when the wind blew), we slipped back to camp and tended our wounds.

It turns out Euphema’s order has cooking skills that’d give one of those Halfling “Bronze Cooks” a run for their money. That had to be one of the most uplifting meals of left-over boar I’ve ever had (and over the years I’ve had quite a few). I suspect that there may be a bit of divine influence, since she insisted on a prayer before eating, but it pepped everyone up quite a bit. I should probably find out which god she serves... though the lack of eye tattoo narrows it down some. We took the rest of the day to recover our energies before returning to the hole. It was our last lead, and hopefully hadn’t gone too cold.

Coming back to the hole, we find the dogs gone, and no replacements. Either the folks who wanted this place guarded were short on dogs, or there are some very tidy scavengers in these woods. So we poke our noses inside the hole, and find a decent sized cave, and a normal-sized pair of goblins guarding the entrance. That solves the question of where the dogs came from, but that didn’t tell us where our pig got to. Not feeling like taking another day of relaxation and boar jerky, we tried to offload our food on the goblins. They must've decided the boar meat was a token of appeasement or something, because they sent a runner back to their chief.

Apparently the boar went over big, as we got an audience with his high stinkiness, the chief. It turns out the goblins caught our pig, but surprisingly haven’t eaten it. Apparently goblins don’t like pig – they like something called “grubworms.” And with that, my opinion of goblins has officially bottomed out. Something else is eating their grubworms, and the goblins are willing to give us the pig if we can stop whatever is eating their worms. A fair trade of service, I suppose.

If the next thing we meet tries to broker a deal, I'm gonna hit it in the face.

When you plan on punching something in the face, it helps if it's not 20 feet tall.

We found out what grubworms are: Big, and Pink. I mean really big. Lucky for me Halfling isn't a regular part of their complete breakfast. They also don't like light, which made following them a little difficult.

Eventually, we found an odd opening – something freshly dug from the worm tunnels into a natural cave. Following the sounds and smells, we found something big.
A flippin' dragon!

Big, scaly, fire-breathing, and... a bit of a crybaby? This dragon (which apparently is only a little dragon. The old tales don't give accurate figures on size) was separated from its family. (They live in groups? Sweet T'nul, that's not good.) He was the one eating the grubworms. See, he was trapped in the cave by a bunch of rats. He was scared by a bunch of them when he'd hatched (guess he grew big on grubworms), and was afraid to go past them. Harl named him Ferdinand. Apparently its a family name or something.

So if we could get rid of the rats, the dragon would leave, the grubworms wouldn't be eaten, and the goblins would give us the stupid pig. Right.

So we go lookin' for rats. And under the first rock we look under, webs. Giant spider webs, with giant spiders. Yeah, we've had enough of those for a while. We decide to try a different route. Second time's a charm – Giant Rats! And Wererats! Crap, I barely have a silver piece, much less a silver dagger. Doesn't look like the rest are much better off. Retreat and re-plan, that's what Wulfram says.

A good time to take a breather. So while we rest, I look over at Harl, and I get one of those crazy ideas. I took one of the torches the goblins gave us, and wrapped the fuel cloth end around the head of The Judge. If we run into the Ratsies again, maybe a little fire would put 'em down. We try a different route, and run into the wererats again. Maybe it was our display of rat-squashing ability, but this time, they're in a talking mood. Seems they're trapped in here too... by the spiders. Ugh.
.
.
So if we get rid of the spiders, the Wererats will leave, and take their rats, so the dragon would leave so the grubworms would not be eaten, and the goblins would give us the stupid pig.
My people make these sorts of deals for a living? No wonder Papa Walksoft decided to play it even.
.
.
So we go back, and light 'em up. Harl tosses some oil so we can see everything, we light The Judge, and warm up with a little shooting. These cave spiders were smarter than the last batch – they stayed clear of the web while it burned – but it did split them up a little. And they were tough. The first couple went down easy, but after that it was a hard battle. We were down to four left when one got a good bite on Euphema, and the poison took hold. We'd have likely been lost were it not for Harl's quick thinking. He grabbed our pig-catching net and tossed it on one of the spiders. And it worked! A little knife work form Harl, some clever cuts from Dust, and some well-placed blows from The Judge, and they were done. There was a decent pile of loot in the webs too! I think we'd more than made our coin, so the pig is all bonus. Maybe we should eat it ourselves and save Delara some trouble.

So out go the Were-rats, out goes the dragon, and out go us.

Little did we know we had another surprise waiting...
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Joe the Rat
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Fri Sep 07, 2012 10:42 am

True story, that.

Seems I'm a little behind on my log...
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teluria
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Sat Sep 08, 2012 8:27 pm

No good deed goes unpunished.

Ah, now where was I? Oh yeah, we’d just gotten everybody – rats, wererats, dragon, and spiders – dead or gone, and scratched up a bit o’ loot. So conquerin’ heroes that we are, we march back upstairs for a big “Unga Unga Thank You” from the goblin chief, and collect our pig.

To our surprise, the goblins were not happy to see us – and were surprised we came back. Apparently someone came in after us, and stole the pig. And they thought it was us. You’d think the lack of flying pot roast hanging about us would have clued them in, but they are goblins. The sharpest thing about them is their spears. Not wanting to fight an entire tribe, particularly as we are still a bit banged up from the spider fight, we manage to convince them it wasn’t us – though the fact that we’d solved their grubworm problem probably had a lot to do with their accepting our explanation. The promptly thank us, and kick us out of the cave. Good riddance.

Alright, so we’d tracked down our errant swine, only to have someone snatch it out from under us. After a little discussion, Dust and Harl remembered those two fine gentlemen we’d run into earlier, and sent after Aladar. Could be that they’re behind this. I didn’t much like the look of ‘em then, and I sure as sproog spoor ain't gonna be too nice next time. But for now, we divide out loot-to-date, and head back to update our benefactor. A quick stop by the old Wizard’s tower reveals that someone did turn up with a ransom note saying they had the pig, and asked for a thousand imperials for its return. A Thousand! We should have held out for more gold… Now I appreciate a bit of enterprisin’ like that, but this was our mark, and I am not going to put up with someone stepping on our toes like that. So we decide to go see if we can track these vagrants down. But first, a bit of shopping…

After our last encounter, Harl fond himself a little short on stabbing implements to throw at monsters while waiting for his magic to recover. I figure we could pick up a few extra so next time he could hurl fire and steel at our enemies, like an exploding smithy. Pinchpenny (That's the gnome shopkeeper I mentioned earlier) was fresh out of knives... at least none that weren't liable to try and kill the owner. Seeing as he didn't have what we needed - and Euphema was giving him the evil eye - we headed to the weaponsmith. Now there's an interesting tale. Going inside, I see what is possibly the tallest dwarf ever, only to realize it's a human. And as she turns, I realize it's a female human at that. Big girl, built like something out of Harl's disturbed dreams... well, except she was a bit tall, and not on fire.

Inga Forgedaughter. Nice lass, really. She seems to have a good head for making weapons, and a flair for the dramatic. Which is a nice way of saying she's a bit of a loon, and is trying to make magic weapons. Case in point: We talked Harl into picking up six Daggers of Flaming Death... which were some good solid daggers with a lovely flame design painted on 'em. Though come to think of it, they really are a good match for him. Dust, Euphema, and myself were good with what we had, so after meeting Inga's rather dour and exceptionally Dwarven husband Uldin the Armorer, we packed it up and headed out.

(Though having a Dwarven Armorsmith in town is a nice find... I may see about a commission after we get this pig nonsense taken care of.)
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teluria
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Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Sat Sep 15, 2012 3:26 pm

So our next stop is the tavern - taverns are always a good source of information.

After a round of drinks, it occurs to us that maybe we should try to get some more information. Lucky we were at a tavern.

The ransom note (A thousand? Man, talk about greedy) mentioned to do the exchange at the Mangy Manticore. Not being local, we ask around a little, and find out the Delara (mmmm) worked there for a time. Turns out the place was cursed by an irate wizard - getting enough dumplings in your glugfruit stew is serious business - and has had a serious of misfortunes. The curse also kept it from being burnt down. Harl was rather upset at notion. So, full of drink and no clue what else to do, we go straight away to see if the pig-nappers were hiding there. Sounded like a good idea at the time.

Arriving, we see no signs of life. Aha, we have the element of surprise! We go sneaking around the place, looking for a sign of pig, or a way in. Dust finds a likely window for a quick entry, and freaks out. He says there was a rat. I say it was the whisky. At this point it's getting dark outside. Hmmm, maybe our timing could use some work. Moving into the darkening corridor, we hear some familiar rustling and clicking - Spiders! Dust cuts it down, but not until after the familiar "giant spider poisons the elf" situation. Maybe Euphema should leave the spiders to Harl, and he can leave the trees to her.

While we wait for the elf to recover, we light a torch and start looking around. We don't see any signs of life, but there is a set of stairs to the cellar. Harl was particularly interested in some casks, and opens one up. And here we learn a valuable lesson: If an abandoned inn has large unopened casks in it, it's probably because nobody wanted them. I am not going to forget that smell any time soon. We also find an unconscious and rather rough looking man-at-arms with a large club, who was alive, and several chewed-on skeletons, which were not. The fighter, who goes by Mustard, was after the reward as well, and poking around the inn, got a crack on the head for his trouble. So they were here! We found his club, which he calls Sodie... and he seems to think it talks to him. Apparently this wasn't his first tap on the head. He looks like he'd do well in a fight, and five against two are odds that I like, so we bring him on. Dust gives me a look that says "Split how many ways?" We also found what was chewing on the bones - a rather nasty looking ghoul!

Back when I was still a little fellow- I heard that, you! ...
Back when I was young, Wulfram told me about the undead - walkin' corpses and nasty things that aren't quite living, or died and forgot to stop movin'. A couple years before he found me, the War Dogs had a run-in with a necromancer, and learned how to fight these things... which he then passed on to me. Now is my chance to put that knowledge to use.

So I charge right up to the thing and hit it in the face as hard as I can with The Judge.

What did you expect, I should run and hide behind the elf or something?

Apparently Dust had the same lesson, because he was right behind me, and took the nasty thing's head clean off. He's pretty good with that sword - maybe he was a fighter back before... whatever had happened to him.

With the abandoned inn a dead end and then some, we go back out to come up with a new plan, only to hear more squealing from the woods! Maybe our luck isn't entirely bad. Or so we thought.following the squeals, Euphema quickly found tracks - a large set of bootprints, a small set of bootprints, and a lot of small feet, all headed back to the goblin cave. Great.

Back at the cave mouth, we get the chief to come out and talk - with a crowd of archers behind. The goblins found the pig thieves, and took them and the pig back. And since this was a new turn with the pig, he wants a new deal. He wants the ransom - 300 gold. Some other discussion followed this - I don't remember much of what was said, due to the blood throbbing in my ears and everything going all red and hazy, but we opted to retreat and discuss. 300? We could take the full ransom, pay off the goblins, keep the rest, and still come out heroes.

Problem is, Aladar doesn't have 1000 imperials, or even the 500 he promised us. Reparations for another experiment gone awry - or was it something on rye? I think onions were involved. He has an idea on how to get more money, involving a many weeks travel to the ruins of the old capitol, but that's just too damn long. We head out from the tower, and on the way back to the inn Dust proposes a solution. Go back through the other entrance to the cave, and we steal the pig.

That's an idea I can get behind.
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teluria
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Mon Oct 01, 2012 2:38 pm

On Gnomish Inventions

SPROING!!!

"WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...."

thud

"Ow."
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Hywaywolf
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Thu Oct 04, 2012 9:23 am

Are you guys satisfied with the start time of this game? I am looking for a new online chat game but 8pm EST is a little too early for me. I could maybe do 9pm (probably would be a little coming and going until 9:30 or 10) if you have any wriggle room.
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teluria
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:20 pm

I think we could handle that. do you have a headset? most of the action happens over mumble.
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Fri Oct 05, 2012 7:41 pm

yes I do. Do you use video as well?What type of PC does the party need, or is it wide open? Where can I found any house rules?
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teluria
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Fri Oct 05, 2012 8:48 pm

The website is www(dot)teluria(dot)org

Everything is there. We just do mumble and maptool. We're going on a two week hiatus to give me some extra time to write and also because one of our players is on travel for their job.

I'm going to do a tech session Saturday night around 8 CST to get some things working (have a sound program I'm trying) and that would probably be a good time to check your set up and get your maptools and mumble running. Send me a PM to chat more.
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Re: Teluria- The Story So Far - By Joe the Rat

Post Sun Oct 14, 2012 10:13 am

Can I add my game report here or do i need my own thread? Anyhoo, here it is. I'll move it if you want ......
***************************************

I am Ragda Foesmiter, renowned dwarven fighter of the most awesome RedRock clan, and this is my story. Well, it goes like this. I was driving my MonsterKart to the Hog Waller Mud Bog down yonder in Sleepy Rock Valley when I lost a spoke on my kart wheel. Well these be some mighty big spokes, and as I dinna wanna be like those two fools Uldin and Buldin, I headed off to some distant wood to cut down and carve me a nice new spoke or two. Well wouldn’t ya just know it, the best tree was on the other side of a ravine, but there was a nice tree over hanging this side of the ravine and I thought, “I wonder if I can …”. And so, quick as a wink, I shinny up that tree and leapt for the other side …

Next I knew, after hitting the ground that is, was that I was tied up in a dungeon somewhere. In the room with me was this Halfling chick with her mouth gagged. I found out later, once the gag came off, how lucky I was. But at the time I saw we were both in the same dire straits, so I futilely tried to use my awesome, well-toned, red-skinned muscles to break my ropes. That not working, I rolled my way toward the fair maiden in hopes of finding something with an edge to cut us loose. I think she had something else on her mind cuz when I flashed my brawn, then rolled toward her, my colorfully braided beard whipping with my roll, I saw her eyes light up in anticipation of our joining. Uhh, with a Halfling? Not even with a perverted Flamewarden dwarf’s pole would I give those sly tricksters the satisfaction. She was crestfallen when I simply rolled toward her feet and slipped the dagger out of her boot. I cut her ropes, she cut mine and then, sadly, she removed her gag.

By now we could hear the sounds of combat in a nearby tunnel. I snapped my orange and yellow suspenders to set them properly, freed my mighty axe and then went toward the sound of clashing metal. In the entrance to my cave were three of the stinking gobs that must have grabbed me and left me in this room. I could feel a rage building, but I was still pretty stiff from being uncomfortably tied so my first blow just sliced a chunk from the first one's belly. Not enough to put it down, but I know fo damn sure it must have hurt. The gobs pitiful attempt to return the favor was easily blocked by a backhand flip of my axe. My rage grew even more cuz I was feeling outnumbered and cuz I could hear the Halfling chick’s piecing shriek behind me complaining about naturally occurring bodily functions. So sue me, I had drunk quite a bit of ale before making my leap from the tree. But just before my raged erupted, another halfling, this one a hell on wheels, came into view, his blade dripping with blood and backing another gob into my view. Well now, this is a spot of good luck. With help like this I should have no problem dealing with these pesky vermin.

I could feel the blood returning to my awesomely flexing muscles as I swung my axe once more. The sheer joy of the clean edge slicing through the gobs neck swelled through me. I laughed when its head flew free and bounced off the cave wall while its body still tried to attack me. The fool didn't even know he was dead. I spit a gob of kulpa leaf juice at its rolling head and stepped forward to attack the next to die. That was kinda dumb cuz I slipped on the juice and my next swing went wide. Luckily my wild gyrations caused the gob to miss me as well. I could hear the Halfling chick behind me talking in gob and wondered if she was scheming with them. But I had no time to worry about her with the battle still in doubt. I saw the Halfling fighter do a nifty little move and skewer his foe, and then step over the body as it was still falling to the floor. This one may be good to team up with if he ain’t to much of a tricky bastard.

One of the gobs in the back turned tail and ran. I would call him cowardly but more like, he just be running for more friends. My next blow killed the gob before me and the one facing the Halfling suddenly dropped his weapons and threw up his hands in surrender. I took off running after the gob that escaped and could hear others yelling to catch him. I wasn't sure if they meant to catch me or the gob. I might need to rethink who actually tied me up and left me in here. I didn't run far before I stopped abruptly and nearly peed myself. I was facing a room full of giant scary looking worms with no gob in sight. Behind me I could sense some other feller I hadn't noticed before run up behind me. This thought made me nervous and I turned sideways, ready to fight this guy or the worms however things went.

I’m not sure what was going on back behind me, but I thought I heard sounds like my favorite sport of goblin tossing (we do that quite a bit back in the taverns). There was a lot of other yapping. I couldn't hear it all, but that shrill halfling female’s voice carried quite well in these tunnels. I heard something about gold and flying pigs and invisible wizards and sloppy, mushy well-washed nuts. It was all too confusing so I just held my ground where I was and awaited whatever would come next. Just like my hero’s Uldin and Buldin.
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