JN1 The Chaotic Caves

[Sir Bedivere]

OK, I'm pretty much done. I have one question about the text. In the Manor, area 84:

84. MAIN DOORS: The great iron double doors of the main house are firmly shut and barred from the inside. Short of using a massive ram, they cannot be opened. There are quite a number of high, wide windows along the walls, with heavy iron bars keeping out anything bigger than a squirrel. The chances of getting through one is good, as is the chance of causing enough noise to attract attention.

It's confusing to say the iron bars keep out anything bigger than a squirrel, but the chances of getting through them are good. Maybe the chances of ripping out some bars are good? I'm not sure what to put here.

As for the rest, I've done a fairly quick proofreading and marked my changes and suggestions. Should I upload the file here, or email it?

[Solomoriah]

Email it, after JD replies to your query.

[jdn2006]

OK, I'm pretty much done. I have one question about the text. In the Manor, area 84:

84. MAIN DOORS: The great iron double doors of the main house are firmly shut and barred from the inside. Short of using a massive ram, they cannot be opened. There are quite a number of high, wide windows along the walls, with heavy iron bars keeping out anything bigger than a squirrel. The chances of getting through one is good, as is the chance of causing enough noise to attract attention.

It's confusing to say the iron bars keep out anything bigger than a squirrel, but the chances of getting through them are good. Maybe the chances of ripping out some bars are good? I'm not sure what to put here.

As for the rest, I've done a fairly quick proofreading and marked my changes and suggestions. Should I upload the file here, or email it?

Notes like this are very helpful. That bit might be deleted or replaced with something like the following, intended for the GM who doesn't really have their own ideas:

Ripping out the window bars (or using some other tedious system to get in through the windows) would likely attract a lot of attention for occupants inside.

[Sir Bedivere]

One more question:

4c. FARRIER: Also has an old nag for sale (the owner gave it up rather than pay their debt). The owner is an elf but tends to hide it, not being very elf-like in appearance. She serves as a general veterinarian for those who know little about animals.

I would switch these two sentences because at first 'the owner' means the owner of the nag, and then the second 'the owner' means the farrier, so it's a bit confusing. Also, 'also' doesn't mean anything if you haven't already said something. I would put:

4c. FARRIER: The farrier is an elf, but tends to hide it, not being very elf-like in appearance. She serves as a general veterinarian for those who know little about animals. She also has an old nag for sale (the owner gave it up rather than pay their debt).

I have (at last!) emailed my edits to Solomoriah. I really enjoyed reading the module. Now I really look forward to running it, if I can ever get my gaming group back together.

[SmootRK]

I am so very anxious to see this module in a finished state for Lulu print... KotB is one of my all time favorites, so having this available will really be a awesome addition to our games. jdn2006, I really hope you follow up this module with another (perhaps some sort of continuation). Also perhaps consider doing a homage to Against the Giants.

Cheers to all who contributed!

[jdn2006]

One more question:

4c. FARRIER: Also has an old nag for sale (the owner gave it up rather than pay their debt). The owner is an elf but tends to hide it, not being very elf-like in appearance. She serves as a general veterinarian for those who know little about animals.

I would switch these two sentences because at first 'the owner' means the owner of the nag, and then the second 'the owner' means the farrier, so it's a bit confusing. Also, 'also' doesn't mean anything if you haven't already said something. I would put:

4c. FARRIER: The farrier is an elf, but tends to hide it, not being very elf-like in appearance. She serves as a general veterinarian for those who know little about animals. She also has an old nag for sale (the owner gave it up rather than pay their debt).

I have (at last!) emailed my edits to Solomoriah. I really enjoyed reading the module. Now I really look forward to running it, if I can ever get my gaming group back together.

That change works fine. I have a way of writing things down short-hand that only confuse others (and myself after a while). Input on what is confusing or just poorly written helps a lot.

[jdn2006]

I am so very anxious to see this module in a finished state for Lulu print... KotB is one of my all time favorites, so having this available will really be a awesome addition to our games. jdn2006, I really hope you follow up this module with another (perhaps some sort of continuation). Also perhaps consider doing a homage to Against the Giants.

Cheers to all who contributed!

Thanks. I'd like to work on other project, especially with other people, but like everyone there is only so much time to devote to gaming...

[Sir Bedivere]

Just wondering where we are on release 11. Is there anything I can do?

[Solomoriah]

Nah, it's on me. I'll get to it sometime soon...

[Sir Bedivere]

No worries. Part of the fun of playing a free RPG is the anticipation.