JN1 The Chaotic Caves

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jdn2006
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 21, 2015 5:14 pm

Solomoriah wrote:
...
jdn2006 wrote:"20. GUARD ROOM: The hobgoblins posted here also help guard against the creatures who reside in the western area, who have defied being exterminated. The corridor west has been piled with rubble to keep them out, and the guards have six vials of holy water ready. Each has 1d6 sp." becomes "20. GUARD ROOM: The hobgoblins posted here also help guard against the creatures who reside in the western area, who have defied being exterminated. The corridor west has been piled with rubble to keep them out, and the guards have six vials of holy water ready. Each has 1d6 sp." Or better yet (if it doesn't disrupt things): "20. GUARD ROOM: The hobgoblins here have piled up rubble in the hallway and stockpiled six vials of holy water to fend off the ghouls to the west. Each has 1d6 sp."
I don't see any difference between the first and second versions above. But the third version is better anyway, so I've applied it.
I misquoted the changed text which was something like "The hobgoblins posted here also help guard against the creatures who have defied being exterminated, who reside in the western area." Not much of a change. The shorter version works better for me, too.
jdn2006 wrote:"24. ZOMBIES: Zombies wait patiently here, ready to attack and destroy any intruders." becomes "24. ZOMBIES: Zombies stand patiently here, programmed to attack and destroy any intruders."
I'd like to avoid the word "programmed"; are you good with "ordered" or "under orders"?
Either works. I was avoidng humanizing them - they're supposed to be "robots" more than people. But that's a personal thing.
...
jdn2006 wrote:I found "It lurks over the door in webs; the webs are covered by enough dust to make someone giving a casual glance think they are the actual ceiling (the ceiling is some 15 feet high, although it is hard to notice unless someone pays attention)." annoying in re-reading it. It would be better written "It lurks overhead in webs that are covered by dust and appear to be the ceiling 10' above the floor (the actual ceiling is 15 feet high)."
And I find that a bit off. How does this hit you:
It lurks overhead in webs which are so covered by dust that they appear to be the ceiling, about 10' up (the actual ceiling is 15' high).
That works a lot better.

I know I made some suggestions and asked some questions above, but I'm going to go ahead and put out what we've got on the Downloads page for review. If you want me to change anything else, including any of the things I suggested changes to above, it's cool, just let me know.
Right now it looks good.
jdn2006
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 21, 2015 5:17 pm

If you need to chop out monsters (reducing hit point box counts etc.) to help stabilize the flow in any of these, do so. I'm really getting bored of rooms stuffed with monsters. modules And/or shorten any of the text to "just the facts".
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 21, 2015 6:10 pm

Nah, it's looking pretty good to me. I don't really want to change any of it, beyond the minor fixes we've been doing.
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chiisu81
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Mon May 25, 2015 10:11 am

Enough edits to warrant 2015 date on title page and OGL?
Page 13: 9 Human Fighters, right column has different spacing b/w numbers and squares
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Tue May 26, 2015 8:52 am

I'm pushing R19 to the downloads page now, with the changes you noted, Chi.
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chiisu81
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Wed May 27, 2015 7:59 am

Do you need to update the copyright date for BFRPG on the OGL page? Otherwise looks good!
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Wed May 27, 2015 8:15 am

Ack. Should have done that, but it's not critical. I'm going to let it ride, unless some other errors are found.

So it looks okay to you otherwise?
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 28, 2015 8:55 am

Okay, so JN1 looks good. I'm going to push it to the printers today.
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 28, 2015 9:34 am

I ran into a problem with JN1... the PD centaur artwork, on the first page of the Abandoned Manor, is not high enough resolution. I was going to redo it, but then I realized I have an excellent centaur by Al Cook, so I put it in there instead.

I didn't make a new release, though, I just updated R19. Yeah, that's a violation of my usual method, but I'm really wanting to get this updated and move on. I have checked it myself and activated it on Lulu.com, but it wouldn't hurt my feelings if you re-downloaded the PDF and checked it over; the CreateSpace activation will take a while, but I can cancel it and reissue if you find a problem, and Lulu reissuing is pretty quick.
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Solomoriah
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Re: JN1 The Chaotic Caves

Post Thu May 28, 2015 9:45 am

Y'know what? Forget all that.

The covers for JN1 need to be redone to correct a resolution issue; it's a longstanding thing, an artifact of the things I didn't understand four years ago, that I've been fixing as I go along. I just forgot the covers for JN1 hadn't had the treatment.

So I'm about to upload R20, which is marked 2nd Edition. I'll redo the cover in the same "dark" format as the other recent adventure modules, but with the same cover art (of course). I'll review the PDF myself, and probably activate it on Lulu (at least) right away.
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