Basic Fantasy RPG Forums

Dang. Okay, so I'll be uploading R39 shortly...

On closer inspection, it might be that the map's compass (on page 78 of R38) is set the wrong way - at least as I'm reading it. Looking through other directional text throughout the adventure seems to suggest north as the right of the page whereas the compass is pointing to the left.

For more examples besides the "western wall" one in text section 1, area 5's text references the barrack's secret door in the north wall instead of the south wall, area 7's text references the fireplace in the northwest corner instead of the southeast, etc. Do I have this wrong? It might be easier to reorient the map compass than fix all the text, but I suppose it depends on how you envisioned the tower's placement on the outdoor map.

I've also come across a few typos. Area 4's text misspells "desiccated" as "dessicated." Area 5's text misspells Liddan Nu Madar's name as "Maddar."

Still reading.

Cryanhall wrote:On closer inspection, it might be that the map's compass (on page 78 of R38) is set the wrong way - at least as I'm reading it. Looking through other directional text throughout the adventure seems to suggest north as the right of the page whereas the compass is pointing to the left.

Ack.

I must have had the map upside down when I wrote the text. Likely, as I wrote it using the hand-drawn original maps rather than the computer-generated maps; I didn't make computer maps until much later. But the tunnel entrance was supposed to be on the south, so the maps are right.

Re-orienting the arrow is one thing, but as a matter of policy I always put north up or to the left. I'd actually rather change the text. I'll read it over, but if you'll be so kind as to note where you find incorrect directions, I'd appreciate it.

I've also come across a few typos. Area 4's text misspells "desiccated" as "dessicated." Area 5's text misspells Liddan Nu Madar's name as "Maddar."

Oddly, my spelling checker doesn't note dessicated as wrong. I have corrected it thought. The other is a basic typo.

Again. please do post whatever you find wrong here. I'll hold off releasing R39 until you've completed your review.

I gave the whole adventure another once-over and here are the things I've found (aside from the ones previously mentioned).

Pg. 71 of R38, in the "Coming to Marul" section: "but he will point them in the direction of Derk, the father of Ritabi, who was also been kidnapped the same night." This sentence probably is meant to be read as "who was also kidnapped." The clarity is a little foggy though - it almost reads as if Derk himself was kidnapped. Maybe not though.

Pg. 72 of R38, in the "Finding the Hidden Entrance" section: Liddan du Madar is spelled as "Maddar" in the second sentence.

Pg. 74 of R38, 7. Common Room: "The space directly in front of the fireplace counts as if it were in room 12; that is, anyone remaining there will suffer a point of damage per turn." I think this should be "room 13" since that is directly under room 14, and room 12 has the blue dragon hatchling in it.

Pg. 75 of R38, 10. Laboratory: This isn't necessarily wrong, but if the pile of bones is in the southwest corner and the two leaded skeletons are in the northwest corner, then they will be next to the door when the PCs enter. My guess is that the pile is intended to be in the northeast and the two skeletons standing in the southeast, based on the other directional incongruencies.

Pgs. 76 & 77 of R38, 17. Bedroom: There are a few issues with this section. The first sentence should read "bringing containers of aqua lumina to room 18 to the west" instead of "to the east." Also, Madar is spelled "Maddar" in the sentences, "this room was where Liddan Nu Maddar slept" and "In truth, it is a spellbook of Liddan Nu Maddar."

A potentially bigger issue is that the two boxed text sections for room 17 seem to be describing two different rooms in the same map location. The first boxed text says that there are two sets of beds, footlockers, and armoires - one at either end of the room. The beds have no bedding, the armoires are open and empty, and the chests are unlocked and empty as well. Then it says nothing of value is in this room. However, a second boxed text section is given after the skeleton stat block describing the room to have a four-poster bed covered in fine silks and a desk which contains the aforementioned spellbook (masked as the Kabal Unatah) and the Quill of Scribing. I think only one of these description can stay. I vote for the one with the magic items.

That's all I found that I thought needed to be changed. There were furnishings in some of the rooms (9, for instance) which gave some directional arrangement (north wall, south wall), but unless it affected the PCs (like in 10, possibly) I didn't worry about it. It might be worth a look to make sure I didn't miss anything important though (maybe look at room 16). Liddan Nu Madar was spelled "Maddar" about the same number of times as "Madar" so either one might be right. It was spelled "Madar" for the first few times though so I assumed that was correct.

I haven't read through "Castle D'Angelo," "House of Coldarius," or "Thaumerion's Tower" yet. I started with "The Tower of Light" because I really like the Nazgorian monsters and I'd like to try to run The Tower of Light/Lost Pyramid sometime. I know the latter isn't technically finished, but I have some ideas.

Wow, those are some significant issues. You are right, there are two room descriptions there. I don't remember, honestly, how that came to be; I may have imported the work of two different people and never got around to integrating them. Collaborative projects sometimes run into that sort of thing. I'm amazed nobody else ever noticed though.

Room 16 needed a complete rearrangement, which I did attend to.

Tower of Light has been "done" for a long time, and so has not been looked at in a while. The issues are likely in rooms that were not fully detailed during the playtest; that also happens to me a lot.

Thanks for all you've done so far! Do you intend to continue reviewing it? I'm more than happy to hold off publication until you are done.

No problem. I started "House of Coldarius" and that one looks good so far. I think I can get through that one and "Thaumerion's Tower" pretty quick, but "Castle D'Angelo" might take me a while.

I'd hate to have you hold it up for me. I'll see how far I get in the next day or so. When were you thinking of re-posting it?

Whenever I stop getting corrections...

Cryan, considering what you've found so far, I'd say we're more than happy to wait while you continue your editing

Cryanhall wrote:I'd hate to have you hold it up for me. I'll see how far I get in the next day or so. When were you thinking of re-posting it?

Cryanhall, thank you for looking into this. Don't worry about holding up the module, since your help is making it a better product. I know I held up a print release of JN3 Saga of the Giants for about three weeks making corrections. Be sure to let Solo know how you should be credited as a proofreader for the module.

Thanks, guys. I’m working on it. I’ll give you a progress report at the end of the weekend.

Note to self: reading a vampire module and eating a BBQ beef sandwich right before bed makes for weird dreams.