Basic Fantasy RPG Forums

Ynas,

Incredible feedback! You put the rest of us proofers to shame Perhaps you can lend your services to 3rd Edition, also listed in the Workshop?

I'll be glad to run a group for playtesting once the new release is up.

I'll say it again, 3rd Edition is not ready for proofing yet. I'll let you all know when it is.

Solomoriah wrote:Ynas, don't forget to let me know how you want your name to appear in the credits. R7 will probably come out with your forum handle, but I'd be happy to change it to your real name if you wish.

That would be Sándor Gebei, or rather Sándor "Ynas" Gebei.

chiisu81 wrote:Ynas,

Incredible feedback! You put the rest of us proofers to shame Perhaps you can lend your services to 3rd Edition, also listed in the Workshop?

What can I say? I have an eye for these kinds of things
Also, when Solomoriah says it's okay, I sure will take a look at it.

Lastly, I will put some thought into making the mundane treasure more interesting - right after I finish with my exams.

Thanks for the proofs and fixes.

Solomoriah wrote:

Ynas Midgard wrote:

• p12 Area 14 (and later Areas 15, 16, 17), "20-80 g.p. (20-90 for those who favor six-sided dice)" - I think I fail to see how that range fits d6s; 20-70, 30-80, or 30-90 would certainly do, but 20-90?

J.D., if you are reading this... can you explain? Because I don't get it either.

d6+d3 x 10 = 20-90. But, it's not needed and can be removed; it clutters things up. Anything who prefers d6s can do their own thing.

Ynas Midgard wrote:I would like to post some typos I find reading the module and some thoughts on how *I* think it could be improved. I will later revisit the topic; everything below is the result of a quick reading only.
And now some suggestions and ideas:

• Isn't 3-18 items in a bag too much? I mean, yeah, they are for giants, but it involves a lot of dice rolling, plus the entries are quickly used up.

Thanks for all the input. It's really helpful.

I had a different inspiration where bags had d20 or 2d10 items (can't remember which) - and trust the GM will do what they want. I personally wouldn't roll but two or three. Indeed, I picked 3d6 to get away from the d20 but really d20 (or such) would be better. And to me a bag would have a few basic items - and maybe d4 or so unusual ones.

All the odd d6s should really be 2d4 (vs. d6+1) and so on.

• In the Wandering Monster table, the method for rolling a d3 is described - is this necessary? Isn't it described somewhere in the rulebook?

All the odd d6s should really be 2d4 (vs. d6+1) and so on. And I'd prefer d4 over d3 in most cases.

• •The jewellery in the module is... boring... I will post some ideas, mainly aimed at providing a little descriptive detail.

I'd like to see it; although what I was shooting for was a very simple module, good creative ideas always help. I personally run out of ideas quickly.

The following room-by-room suggestions are based on Revision 6.

Area 1
There is a typo: the initial U of the word "underneath" should be in capital. Also, a reminder to the standard damage caused by a 20' deep pit might be mentioned in parentheses.

Area 2
These giants are simple guards, there should be no treasure.

Area 6
First, maybe the monster stats could start with: "Sergeant (Hill Giant)".
Second, I would lower the gem's value to 2,000 gp. Even better would be if it were the sword's value not the gem's.
Third, I find the enumeration of mundane contents in 6.b. unnecessary.

Area 8
The last sentence could be replaced with the following:
"They have a golden ring with "Love, Esther" carved into it (worth 400 g.p.), silver cutlery (worth 100 g.p.), and 500 g.p. in a pile on the table."

Area 9
It is very nice - but after "a Paladin's Gauntlet (see New Magic Items)" there should be a full stop, and the rest could be deleted (it is only repeating what the Appendix says, anyway).

Area 10
This is how I would rewrite the text:
"All doors leading into this room are locked - the giant in room #17 has the keys. Plants in wooden tubs are thick here. A massive fireplace separates this room and the guest bed room; there is a stone wall between the rooms. A table, chairs, and wooden closet - all of serviceable but not made with superb craftsmanship. Three saber-tooth cat cubs prowl the room, harmless and mewing at anyone who enters as if hungry; each has a gem studded necklace worth 500 g.p. an animal trainer or an eccentric noble would pay 750 g.p. for each. Hidden in the earth around roots of one plant in a tub is a leather purse with 300 p.p. and 1,500 g.p."

Continuing the room-by-room suggestions. I don't know how okay it is to offer rewritten room descriptions... Anyway, here it goes.

Area 11, 18, and 25 are not only left for expansion (according to the text) but also from the map.

Area 12
I would rewrite the text to the following:
"One large bed is in this room, as well as a pallet for what must be some giant animal at the foot with a taxidermy of a giant boar on it (worth 300 g.p.). A crude wooden chair sits behind a vanity with a huge silver-backed mirror with a crack down the middle and one corner broken off jaggedly. There also stands a huge silver-backed mirror of excellent quality (worth 1,000 g.p.). Hidden in the frame where the broken piece should be wedged are three gems worth 100 g.p. each., which actually hides a secret compartment in the wall, containing a pound of strong narcotics made from powdered moonlight (worth 1,500 g.p.) and a blade of a sword made of coloured glass (worth 200 g.p.)."

Area 13
First, there is a typo in the name of the room. Second, I find the enumeration of furniture tedious. Third, the part in parentheses should be changed to the following: "said spell is broken if the chest is moved, etc.)".

Area 14
I would probably rewrite the last sentence to the following:
"Inside it are a pair of mammoth ivory carved with religious symbols (worth 400 g.p. each), a casket of perfume (worth 150 g.p.), a golden bar weighing 25 pounds (worth 1,250 g.p.), two bejewelled silver goblets (500 g.p. each), and three +2 javelins of lightning (see New Magic Items)."

Area 15 and 16 are fine empty rooms, although 15 would be a good one to place some magical or expensive wine, such as the following:
(1) an otherworldly beverage made from honey, whiskey, and the tears of fairies (500 g.p.)
(2) a bottle of 200-years-old brandy (200 g.p.)
(3) a bottle of bitter liquor made by fire giants, still hot to the touch (200 g.p.)

Area 17
Besides the room being rather boring (general description of inhabitants and treasure), I don't see the point. Why would there be a false chieftain - with a stone giant? To whom do they lie with all this?

Ynas Midgard wrote:Continuing the room-by-room suggestions. I don't know how okay it is to offer rewritten room descriptions... Anyway, here it goes.

To me, its wonderful having anyone suggest better writing and wording, etc. Plus ideas. I tried to make the random contents of the giant bags different for each type to give the GM some ideas to use for flavor, but bogged down for example.

I sent in a revision of all four of the first modules a week or two ago (they haven't been posted for some reason.. I can always redo the changes I made, so thats not a problem to me) where I removed the numbers I had left open for exapansion and did things like move all the pluses I could find to the end of the item (I was mixing "+1 sword" and "sword +1" up liberally.)

Those changes, though, don't compare to the suggestions you offered. Which I like.

Ynas Midgard wrote:Area 17
Besides the room being rather boring (general description of inhabitants and treasure), I don't see the point. Why would there be a false chieftain - with a stone giant? To whom do they lie with all this?

That room is an example of me overthinking something: orginally, the idea was that some players mght think they knocked off the king and queen and try to quit there. But that assumes they recognize them as such and so on. The giants should be described as "just more giants" and colored some way - let foolish players make foolish inferences on their own.

Which is why there's a "false" treasure room and a real one...

jdn2006 wrote:I sent in a revision of all four of the first modules a week or two ago (they haven't been posted for some reason.. I can always redo the changes I made, so thats not a problem to me)

Hm, perhaps I should wait until the new versions are uploaded? ... Anyway, I'm just gonna post more ideas if I have some.

jdn2006 wrote:

Ynas Midgard wrote:Area 17
Besides the room being rather boring (general description of inhabitants and treasure), I don't see the point. Why would there be a false chieftain - with a stone giant? To whom do they lie with all this?

That room is an example of me overthinking something: orginally, the idea was that some players mght think they knocked off the king and queen and try to quit there. But that assumes they recognize them as such and so on. The giants should be described as "just more giants" and colored some way - let foolish players make foolish inferences on their own.

Which is why there's a "false" treasure room and a real one...

I see... I am still thinking about how that could be turned into something more awesome... Anyway, I will post alternatives for the treasures there, that part I can do without changing the encounter much.

Okay, here is the last part of the surface areas. I am very open to critics, especially concerning the values I gave to various objects; I may have been inconsistent with them, plus I don't know BFRPG's prices, I have to admit.

Area 19
The last sentence could be changed to the following:
"Scattered about in piles and bags are the following valuables: 1,000 g.p. and 4,000 s.p. in coins; ivory chess pieces (worth 500 g.p.); 20 pounds of mammoth fur (300 g.p.); 30 pounds of exotic fruits (150 g.p.); a wallcarpet knotted from the hair of thirty-three redheads (400 g.p.); a dozen of skulls turned into goblets (20 g.p. each); a black pearl, a topaz, and an emerald (worth 600, 500, and 1,000 g.p., respectively)."

Area 20 - stairs. Its description, "Down to North, Up from South" is a little confusing.

Area 21 needs a little flavour but is otherwise good.

Area 22 sounds good to me, concerning the room's purpose.

Area 23
What if the Wolf Keeper is something like a shaman, worshipping the Wolf Totem, wearing a bone-mask and such? Maybe he even has a flute with which he can control his dire wolves (new magic item).

Area 24 and 27 are great empty rooms; Area 25 doesn't exist. I would say there should be no treasure in Area 26 - it's just a kitchen.

Area 28
I have two rather distinct ideas concerning it.
First, what if the smith is not a hill giant, but one of another race, held magic chains and made to create weapons and armour for the giants?
Second, if he is really evil, how about a fire giant, perhaps a twice lame one?

Area 29
There could be some magic anvil or hammer, or perhaps an already finished magic weapon.
As for the last sentence, I'd switch for the following:
"Besides there being at least a 100 pounds of fine steel (worth 1,500 g.p.) and as much coal of excellent quality (worth 300 g.p.), there are also two bars of alchemical silver (worth 375 g.p. each) and a bar of mithral (worth 1,875 g.p.), all three weighing 25 pounds each."

And Area 30 is another empty one.

Done with the surface; the main dungeon level comes after R7 is released.