Page 5 of 17
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 8:11 am
by Bumblepig
Seven wrote: ↑Tue Aug 11, 2020 6:18 am
Page 12
Ms Goodall can only sell items worth a total of 1,400 gp or less.
Should that be buy?
"locked and trapped with a spring loaded poison needed."
needle
BTW, I really like it so far.
I'm glad, thanks! So far your suggestions/assumptions are all correct in terms of words I'm missing or things I got wrong.
Again, I really appreciate you doing this. To avoid version control issues I'm going to hold off on incorporating your changes (and Peel Seel's final maps) until you're done.
Seven, Peelseel, and Muze,
For the Credits page how do you want to be named?
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 9:23 am
by Seven
Page 13
I suggest adding a pig ear sandwich, for 1 copper.
Page 14
Maybe tell how Sir Ruprecht lost his eye.
Page 17
"Arthur Figwort, has been taking the a local sanitarium"
Should be taken.
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 10:17 am
by Seven
Page 22
The elf lord eyes "appear blank with white irises and pinprick pupils"
yet in page 20 he had "pale blue eyes".
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 2:25 pm
by Seven
Page 26
"In the second, they are roasting the human maiden on a spicket."
I believe that should be a spit.
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 2:39 pm
by Seven
Page 27
"The liquid is in the carafe is a lingonberry liqueur"
extra "is"
Should probably mention Giles Weadley explicitly.
A detailed description would be timely here.
Players will probably ask who is he and how he got here and what he's doing here and when he's intending to return home...
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 4:02 pm
by Seven
Page 28
"Its sole inhabitant is an is an emaciated"
"with, Incongruously"
"with him.."
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2020 8:56 pm
by Seven
Page 30
"His eyes appear completely eye with tiny black pupils."
"juggling a three swords"
"sporting matching over shirts of chain armor"
Not sure if it's meant to be overshirts or if something matching is over their shirts.
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2020 5:16 am
by Seven
Page 33
"A pair of cloves prevents exposure to the contact poison."
"Ice Devil: AC 18, HD 3*l*,"
"The smell of onions and boiled meet greets your nostrils."
And that's all I got.
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2020 8:38 am
by Bumblepig
Seven wrote: ↑Wed Aug 12, 2020 5:16 am
And that's all I got.
Great, thanks!
By the way, your suggestion to add pig ear sandwiches has been reviewed by the Management and added to the menu.
On the credits page do you want to be listed as "Seven" or by your real name (assuming your real name isn't Seven)?
Re: New Adventure for Review: "The Blackapple Brugh"
Posted: Wed Aug 12, 2020 8:50 am
by Seven
Seven will do.