KH1 The Blackapple Brugh

[Seven]

Page 5 "Lady Figwort will never agree to is".
Should probably be agree to this. Or to it.

[Seven]

Page 6 "A sign outside is has the words “Hen's Teeth Tavern” in painted in large blue letters, below which is a crude depiction of a white chicken."

"is has" and "in painted in"


"They have their upper torsos are human"

"They also ears are also goatlike"

"2- bed" should be 2-bed.

"The bubble and squeak is hearty comprised of an assortment of wholesome root vegetables"
Maybe "is a hearty something (stew?) comprised"

"The air is filled the smoke."

"In the corner, a several play pipes, while the rest sing and drink."

[Bumblepig]

Peelseel and Seven,
Thank you both so much.

Peelseel: The maps look really good. I hope it didn't take too much time to do the rough bits. One minor thing... On level 1, C1 is just the label for that little bent side corridor thingy. So it can just take the label "C1" without an arrow. And the two arrows to that mirror are pointed TO the mirror from a2 and b16 (they represent magical entry points).

Seven, I appreciate you being thorough . I'm embarrassed there were so many typos. I'd gotten to that point where I'm sick of reading my own writing, so I guess I really didn't do a very thorough self-edit. So thanks for picking up my slack.

Thanks again!
Kyle

[Solomoriah]

If the text you are correcting is something some NPC is actually saying, errors in grammar may be intentional... people don't always talk so gud.

[Bumblepig]

If the text you are correcting is something some NPC is actually saying, errors in grammar may be intentional... people don't always talk so gud.

I agree, though at a glance I think Seven mostly caught mistakes by me, not my NPCs.

[Seven]

No dialog. I'm just quoting literal strings with potential issues that I find as I read.

[Seven]

Page 7.

"He’s quite handy with his a club, which he keeps behind the bar along with a
loaded heavy crossbow."

Either "his" or "a". You already mentioned the loaded heavy crossbow a few paragraphs above.

"aside from from the party"

"Perched upon the stone doorway is a giant owl."
We already know that from the boxed text.

"an Anti-charm Charm, which makes the bearer immune to magical charm effects."
It's really witty, but what does it look like and what does it do? Is is a brooch that protects from cursed pendants or maybe a pendant that provides protection form Charm Person and Charm Monster spells?

[Seven]

Page 9. Population is done to 400. Was 408 a few pages back.

Page 10. "12. Fairies have been known to Blackapple through magic mirrors."

Missing a verb.

[Seven]

Page 11

"she ells potions"

"but will sell no more than a six doses of each"
Unless it's like a 6-pack, you might want to drop the "a".

"at the end of which is healed an extra 1d4 hit points."
Maybe at the end of which an extra 1d4 hit points is healed.

Berserker Juice
I suggest you briefly summarize the effect, in case a copy of the barbarians supplement is not on hand.

[Seven]

Page 12

Ms Goodall can only sell items worth a total of 1,400 gp or less.
Should that be buy?

"locked and trapped with a spring loaded poison needed."
needle

BTW, I really like it so far.