CS2 The Dark Temple

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Solomoriah
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Wed Oct 30, 2019 6:27 pm

Ha. Both are JD Jarvis sheets. I had some trouble with gray reproduction on my printer when I printed that lower one.
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm

I have gone through the book and made my changes they are in the Project folder as R3.

Here are some of the edits I made:

Page 1 Paragraph 2 and many other occurances.
Changed 'ZewlAC(non breaking space)'  to 'Zewlac(normal space)'

Looks like a blanket change to AC in the Monster Descriptions may have also got the “AC “ at the end of the name.

Page 2 Paragraph 2
Changed Sanctuary room number from 13 to 14 to match the maps.

Page 29 – 21 Armored Guardians paragraph 1
Bolded spell names charm and sleep.

Page 36 – Weird Scene #6 – Boxed text
Changed ‘next’ to ‘neck’ to make more sense.
Was:
Around his next hangs a pendant with a large red stone, which glows slightly.
Now:
Around his neck hangs a pendant with a large red stone, which glows slightly.

Page 37 – Wandering Monster – Quasit
Added asterisk to name and double dagger to AC to better match the Infernal, Quasit entry of the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 38 – Elbor, Furio and Ron – Description
Removed unneeded phrase “has since has”
Was:
They once served under Lieutenant Pete, who has since has recruited them to serve as muscle for his security consulting operation.
Now:
They once served under Lieutenant Pete, who recruited them to serve as muscle for his security consulting operation.

Page 39 – Vheld’broggn – Description
Since this creature is described as an ‘Extradimensional Abomination’ should it have a double dagger to AC and an asterisk to the name since it would probably need to have magic weapons to attack it?

Page 40 – Portico – paragraph 1
Was:
Two of the NPC guards are always be stationed here and will rotate throughout the day in 6 hour shifts.
Now:
Two of the NPC guards will always be stationed here and rotate throughout the day in 6 hour shifts.

Page 41 – Vestibule – Boxed text paragraph 1
Capitalization
Was:
Festival staffers and performers hurry about Discussing Business and Getting Things Done.
Now:
Festival staffers and performers hurry about discussing business and getting things done.

Page 42 – 5 Unused room – paragraph 2
Changed ‘mouldering’ to ‘moldering’.

Page 44 – 16 Torture Chamber – Boxed Text paragraph 2
Changed ‘stand’ to ‘stands’

Page 44 – 16 Torture Chamber – Boxed Text paragraph 3
Was:
A small stone stove in stands in the corner, …
Now:
A small stone stove stands in the corner, …

Page 45 – 16a Oubliette (lower) – paragraph 2
Was:
anti-mMagic shell
Now:
anti-Magic shell

Page 46 – 18 Contemplation Chamber – paragraph 1
Was:
A PC that observes the placement of the manacles will notice a break in the pattern on empty spot in the wall where the door to the secret room lies.
Now:
A PC that observes the placement of the manacles will notice a break in the pattern, an empty spot in the wall where the door to the secret room lies.

Page 49 – 25 Embalming Room – Pack of Rats description
Capitalized the S on Swim for the Movement entry.

Page 49 – 26 Laboratory – boxed text
Changed grey to gray for US version. Also removed extra space in last sentence.

Page 51 – 32 Mummy Chamber – Mummy and Crypt Dweller descriptions
Added asterisk to name and double dagger to AC to better match the Mummy description in the Core Rules and the Crypt Dweller description in the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 51 – 33 Grand Hall – Paragraph 7
Was:
If PCs observe the anomaly, it should described as an unnatural shape that seems to be getting closer.
Now:
If PCs observe the anomaly, it should be described as an unnatural shape that seems to be getting closer.

Page 54 – 4 Offering Room 2 – Boxed text, last sentence
Change ‘begins’ to ‘begin’.

Page 54 – 4 Offering Room 2 – 2nd paragraph after boxed text
Was:
The disease can only by cured by a cure disease spell.
Now:
The disease can only be cured by a cure disease spell.

Page 55 – 7 Priestess’ Quarters
Remove repeated ‘one’ from first paragraph fourth sentence.

Took RPG out of the names of the Field Guides, added Volume to name to indicate which version was used.

Page 65 – 3 Acolyte’s Study, 4 Farin’s Study, and 5 Farin’s Chamber – Monster description
Added asterisk and dagger symbol to AC and two asterisks to HD to Heucova to better match entry in the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.
For the Skeletaire and Zombraires in rooms 4 and 5 added one asterisks to HD to better match the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 67 – 14 Area of Worship, 15 Rust Monster Pen and 16 Shadow Room – Monster description
Added asterisks to HD of ghouls, rust monsters and shadows and added asterisk to name and double dagger to AC of shadows to better match entry in Core Rules.

Page 68 – 17 Secret Garden, 18 Empty Room – Monster description
Added a single asterisks for Giant Centipedes and Wights and two asterisks to the Ghoul Cockroach and an asterisk to the name and a dagger to the AC of the Wights to better match Core Rules and Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 69 – 20 Farin’s Final Resting Place – Monster description
Added a single asterisks for Crimson Bones Skeletons and Ghost and an asterisk to the name and a double dagger to Ghost AC to better match Core Rules and Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 70 – 27 Dank and Moldy Hallway – Monster description
Added single asterisk for Red Slime HD to better match entry in Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 71 – 30 Dark Area – Monster description
Added an asterisk to name and single asterisk for Black Pudding HD to better match entry in Core Rules.

Page 71 – 32 Room of Punishment – paragraph 1, second sentence.
Changed ‘current’ to ‘currently’.

Page 72 – 33 Grand Hall – Monster description
Added single asterisk for Tentacled Horror HD to better match entry in Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.

Page 77 – 18 Shadowy Room – Paragraph 3 (list of treasures in room)
Bolded the names of the spells on the Scroll of Three Magic-User Spells.

Page 79 – 30 Spectre – Paragraph 2 (list of treasures in room)
Bolded the names of the spells on the Scroll of Six Magic-User Spells.

Page 79 – 32 Bedroom – Paragraph 3 (list of treasures in room)
Bolded the names of the spells on the Scroll of Three Clerical Spells.

----

These are suggestions to consider or that need to go back to the original author since it involves some core phrases that are used.

There are several locations in “The Children of Zewlac” that the temple is called the “temple by the sea” so as not to confuse it with my module, should this be changed to The Dark Temple so it points back to the name of the book itself?

Page 74 – 5 Large Bedroom – paragraph 1
Still need the message scrawled on the wall.

Page 79 – 29 Ooze – Boxed text
There is a box, but the text is gone like the message in Room 5.

----

Now you can add some the great art that has been posted.
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Solomoriah
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:12 pm

Announcing!

CS2 The Dark Temple, Release 3 -- November 02, 2019
This new release has received an editing pass by Alan Vetter and additional layout work by Chris Gonnerman.

https://basicfantasy.org/downloads.html#cs2
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sean8223
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:15 pm

AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 39 – Vheld’broggn – Description
Since this creature is described as an ‘Extradimensional Abomination’ should it have a double dagger to AC and an asterisk to the name since it would probably need to have magic weapons to attack it?
It wasn't my intention to require slivered or magical weapons to hit the creature. As far as the XP/bonuses go, I assigned it roughly 1.5x the standard 25 HD creature (13925 vs 9000) to reflect its difficulty.
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Solomoriah
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sat Nov 02, 2019 11:13 pm

Sean, your interpretation is fine with regards to the AC (it's your critter) but the XP needs to be done according to the standard method. We'll adjust it on the next pass.
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 41 – Vestibule – Boxed text paragraph 1
Capitalization
Was:
Festival staffers and performers hurry about Discussing Business and Getting Things Done.
Now:
Festival staffers and performers hurry about discussing business and getting things done.
I assume the original version was meant for emphasis (with a bit of tongue-in-cheek); I'm tempted to put it back as the author wrote it for artistic reasons.
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 51 – 32 Mummy Chamber – Mummy and Crypt Dweller descriptions
Added asterisk to name and double dagger to AC to better match the Mummy description in the Core Rules and the Crypt Dweller description in the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.
Asterisks on the names are not really needed in these descriptions (really need to review the Style Guide on this) but the dagger/double dagger are definitely required.
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
These are suggestions to consider or that need to go back to the original author since it involves some core phrases that are used.

There are several locations in “The Children of Zewlac” that the temple is called the “temple by the sea” so as not to confuse it with my module, should this be changed to The Dark Temple so it points back to the name of the book itself?
Good point. Chi, what do you think about this? I'm on the fence.
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 74 – 5 Large Bedroom – paragraph 1
Still need the message scrawled on the wall.
This one's for Chi too.
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 79 – 29 Ooze – Boxed text
There is a box, but the text is gone like the message in Room 5.
I can fill this in if Chi doesn't have a plan for it.

Guys, thanks a lot. In just two passes a LOT of corrections have been made, and the book is looking really, really good. And thanks to the artists who contributed, too!
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AlMan
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sun Nov 03, 2019 12:52 am

sean8223 wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 12:15 pm
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 39 – Vheld’broggn – Description
Since this creature is described as an ‘Extradimensional Abomination’ should it have a double dagger to AC and an asterisk to the name since it would probably need to have magic weapons to attack it?
It wasn't my intention to require slivered or magical weapons to hit the creature. As far as the XP/bonuses go, I assigned it roughly 1.5x the standard 25 HD creature (13925 vs 9000) to reflect its difficulty.
The comment should have been put into the suggestion section. I didn't add the asterisks or daggers. Thank you for the clarification Sean.
Solomoriah wrote:
Sat Nov 02, 2019 11:13 pm
AlMan wrote:
Fri Nov 01, 2019 6:03 pm
Page 51 – 32 Mummy Chamber – Mummy and Crypt Dweller descriptions
Added asterisk to name and double dagger to AC to better match the Mummy description in the Core Rules and the Crypt Dweller description in the Basic Fantasy Field Guide Volume 1.
Asterisks on the names are not really needed in these descriptions (really need to review the Style Guide on this) but the dagger/double dagger are definitely required.

Guys, thanks a lot. In just two passes a LOT of corrections have been made, and the book is looking really, really good. And thanks to the artists who contributed, too!
I originally put in just the daggers and double daggers and the HD asterisks, I then noticed that Chi used the asterisks on the names also so I went back through and added them.

Chris, thank you for coming up with the original concept. A little more polish and this could soon be a print release.
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Solomoriah
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sun Nov 03, 2019 8:52 pm

I want to personally playtest each adventure before releasing the book. Hopefully I can get this done faster than we did CS1. But the momentum now is fantastic, the book is coming together faster than I'd ever have hoped!
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chiisu81
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:09 pm

I personally prefer having the asterisk, it's a helpful reminder. But since I'll be updating the style guide soon we should make an official ruling on this as well.
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Mon Nov 04, 2019 12:38 am

The asterisk after the name is intended to help the GM select monsters. I'm not sure there's any reason to include it when the monster has already been chosen.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Dark Temple

Post Mon Nov 04, 2019 8:25 am

? I included them in the name to follow the core rules/monster guides as a reminder those monsters can't be hit by normal weapons.
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