Ruby Mountain

Creating game materials? Monsters, spells, classes, adventures? This is the place!
seandon4
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Re: BF4 Ruby Mountain

Post Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:42 pm

Solomoriah wrote:Posted the update to the first post above. A heck of a lot of this module is handwritten... I really have to find it and get it typed in.

And probably almost half is still completely unwritten. I don't even have a map for the uppermost level, or the two or three lowest levels.
Yeah, I was going to say. I wasn't sure how to critique it. Are you still working on filling in the the blanks or are they open to contribution? If the former, then I'll focus on looking at what's been completed so far.
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Solomoriah
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:09 pm

I should at least write up a roadmap before anyone contributes.

Ruby Mountain is supposed to be a serious megadungeon... but my players started to get bored with it, and then they started trouble in town...
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Wed Aug 20, 2014 11:14 pm

Sounds interesting.
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chiisu81
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:16 pm

Should the other thread be merged into this one? I think the main thing is the cover is on that one...

viewtopic.php?f=19&t=699
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Solomoriah
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Fri Nov 14, 2014 2:37 pm

Done.
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chiisu81
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Mon May 18, 2015 1:56 pm

Page 18-20: 2nd rows of HP boxes needs to be left-aligned with the 1st rows
Page 19, Entry 31: HP numbers and boxes need to line up with others
Page 7, 24: Remove Cadaver entry and note its inclusion in the Field Guide?
Page 7, 25: same for Giant Ghoul Cockroach?
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Solomoriah
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Mon May 18, 2015 10:15 pm

I'm uploading a version with the new monsters removed, and some formatting done. The material from page 18 on needs a lot of work... I just basically ran it out of my online generator and did a very small amount of cleaning on it.

Much like The Great Desert, Ruby Mountain needs a lot of love that I'm probably not going to be able to give it.
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chiisu81
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Wed Jul 20, 2016 7:54 am

R5 uploaded; mostly just clean-up of existing material. Once I finish Finley Manor and look at Strongholds of Sorcery, I'll look more at this and The Great Desert.
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Clever_Munkey
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Tue Nov 22, 2016 1:56 pm

I realize this is not a very high priority, but I already had the document in front of me, so I thought I would go ahead and give it a shot.

Various
- "Delve"

Technically delve is not a noun, although that hasn't stopped
the elder scrolls series.

Edit: Ignore the above. The source I had saying delve is not a noun did not account for its archaic meaning.

Pg.1
p.1
-"...them to your merchants; them, you may tax as you wish."
Change:
"...them to your merchants; then, you may tax as you wish."

South Gatehouse, Floor 1

Pg.2
Rooms 4-7,10,12 need descriptions

Pg.3
r.12
- "going down the mountainside every few days, and hunting the
wild sheep that live further down the mountainside."

Suggest:
"going down the mountainside every few days, and hunting the wild sheep."

- "(When he departs his room, he makes sure to carry his treasures
with him, carrying all his belongings in a large hide sack.)"
Suggest:
"(when he departs his room, he makes sure to carry his treasures with him in a large hide sack)"
or:
"(when he departs his room, he makes sure to carry all of his belongings with him in a large hide sack.)"

r.13
- "The passage has been trapped by gnolls. Nothing elegant
(they are gnolls after all)"

"Nothing elegant (they are gnolls after all)" is not a complete sentence.

Suggest:
"The passage has been inelegantly trapped by (the?) gnolls"
or:
"The passage has been trapped by gnolls, but not elegantly (They are gnolls after all)."

Pg.4
r.13
- "3. oil spills across the end of the passage (near room13), 4 flasks worth, as well as 5 flasks worth of oil dropping from the ceiling onto what ever is below"

Suggest:
"3. 4 flasks worth of oil spill across the end of the passage (near room 13), as well as 5 flasks worth of oil that drop from the ceiling"

Pg.4
r.14
- "...room 13 (though without the chandeliers)..."

Change:
"...room 13 (although without the chandeliers)..."

Edit: "Though" and "although" are interchangeable. Although is usually considered to be more formal, so it's really a matter of preference.

- "...small stone chips (the largest are about fist sized, there are also..."

Change:
"...small stone chips (the largest are about fist sized), there are also..."

- "There is a cool, humid, light breeze..."

Change:
"There is a light, cool, humid breeze..."

(I learned recently that there is apparently a proper order for adjectives)

South Gatehouse, Floor 2

Pg.5
r.2
- "There is also a large wooden block in which is embedded a very sharp hatchet,
and a stone water-fountain on the wall."

Change:
"There is also a stone water fountain on the wall (which?) and a large wooden block in which a very sharp hatchet is embedded."

- "feeding-chamber"

Change:
"feeding chamber"

r.4
- "Long-disused, the lounge was once a resting-place, meeting-place and..."

Change:
"Long disused, the lounge was once a resting place, meeting place and..."

r.5
- "faeces" UK spelling or "feces" NA spelling
Suggest NA spelling for consistency (no pun intended)

East Gatehouse, Floor 1
-All rooms need names

Pg.6
r.1
- "Every 5' a pilaster is carved into wall."

Change:
"There are pilasters carved into the wall every 5'."

r.2
- "On the north and west walls are evenly spaced arrow slits all along the length of the hall"

Suggest:
"On the north and west walls are evenly spaced arrow slits running the entire length of the hall."

- "If the party moves quietly (eg no metal armor, no talking, trying to be quiet)..."

Change:
"If the party moves quietly (e.g. no metal armor, no talking, trying to be quiet)..."

- "IF they do make noise..."

Change:
"If they do make noise..."

r.3
- " east corridor – the 2 in the east corridor aren't actually patrolling,
if the party is silent, they will be sleeping,"

Suggest:
"east corridor - If the party is silent then the 2 in the east corridor will actually be sleeping instead of patrolling."

r.4
- "There will be 10 of the (hp 8,7,..."

Change:
"There will be 10 of them (hp 8,7,..."

rooms 5-10 have no description, and are not mentioned except in the map

r.12
- header should be moved to Pg. 7

Pg. 7
r.14
- "mailshirt, helm and round shield (AC: 4)"

Change:
"mail shirt, helm and round shield (AC: 16)"

I have not proof read the delve section as it seems largely incomplete any way.
Last edited by Clever_Munkey on Sat Mar 17, 2018 1:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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chiisu81
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Re: Ruby Mountain

Post Tue Mar 13, 2018 11:55 am

Starting work on r6; included Clever_Munkey's edits, and updating the styling for allllllll the stat-blocks and HP squares.
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