Tomb of Thorin Zuse

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chiisu81
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Wed Feb 08, 2017 2:19 pm

I kinda dig the isometric style, and this was kinda a challenge to get everything right using just a sharpie :D
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
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Fastjack2xs
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Wed Feb 08, 2017 7:38 pm

chiisu81 wrote:Thanks :D R4 uploaded to first post. Header is wrong on last few pages, but I'm too tired to wrestle with page styles. :oops:

With some additional feedback this is definitely going into AA2, nice work!

Thanks Chiisu for all your hard work. I really do appreciate it! I'm glad that it has turned out to be more than a single anonymous adventure for my group of players.
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chiisu81
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Sun Feb 19, 2017 6:21 pm

You are quite welcome 8-) New adventures are what I personally really enjoy seeing on these boards, and those with enough material and polish deserve to go into a future to-be-in-print module. :D
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
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AlMan
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Sun Feb 19, 2017 11:46 pm

Edits for “The Tomb of Thorin Zuse”

Page 4 – Room 5 Paragraph 1 -
Currently:
They have destroyed several of the statues that were in the room in order to use the rubble to cover the over two graves.

Should be:
They have destroyed several of the statues that were in the room in order to use the rubble to cover over two graves.


Page 8 – Room 26 Paragraph 2 -
Currently:
Upon opening the casket the PCs will see the skeletal remains of Thorin Zuse, and can easily tell that he was a large man, standing at lease 6'6” tall.

Should be:
Upon opening the casket the PCs will see the skeletal remains of Thorin Zuse, and can easily tell that he was a large man, standing at least 6'6” tall.


Page 11 – OGL
Need to include Field Guide 2 information since Bone Vipers are now part of that source document.

Could this still be a candidate for AA2 or are you starting to look at AA3? :D
Fastjack2xs
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:59 am

AlMan wrote:Edits for “The Tomb of Thorin Zuse”
Thanks Alman for the help. I've made those edit corrections that you've pointed out and have uploaded an R5 of the odt and pdf. However Chiisu81 will have to upload another revised pdf if he still wants to use those particular fonts on the cover that he used in the R4 pdf.
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chiisu81
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:29 am

Fastjack, I PM'ed you a download link for the BFRPG fonts. I went ahead and re-uploaded R5, with the title page font restored as well as Al's proofing credit added.
AlMan wrote:Could this still be a candidate for AA2 or are you starting to look at AA3? :D
Oh I'm definitely intending for this to go into AA2. 8-) AA2 is still well into development and open for new entries (I'm slowly working on at least one more for inclusion).
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
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Fastjack2xs
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:23 am

Thanks Chiisu for reloading the docs with Al's credit and for sending the fonts. You guys are great!
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chiisu81
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:08 pm

R6 posted; getting it ready to add to AA2 in the near future.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
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AlMan
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Sat Apr 01, 2017 7:58 pm

The Tomb of Thorin Zuse Corrections version 6 Corrections

Page 2 – Room 1 – paragraph 2
Currently:
A save v. Death Ray (Dex bonus or penalty applied) will allow the victim to catch themselves on edge of the trap and pull themselves out.
Suggest:
A save v. Death Ray (Dex bonus or penalty applied) will allow the victim to catch themselves on the edge of the trap and pull themselves out.

Page 3 – Room 3 – paragraph 2
Change weapon name to match Core Rules
Currently:
Actually, there are four goblins armed with short bows hiding behind each of the four columns in the corners of this room.
Suggest:
Actually, there are four goblins armed with shortbows hiding behind each of the four columns in the corners of this room.

Page 5 – Room 16 – First sentence
Currently:
Room 16 (Fire trap): room.
Suggest:
Room 16 Fire trap:

Page 5 – Room 17
Use of weight for weigh
Use of Gp instead of gp (there are others of this through the document} both versions are being used in the document since other adventures use gp I suggest using the lower case.
Currently:
These tapestries weight 30 pounds each, and each is worth about 1,000 Gp.
Suggest:
These tapestries weigh 30 pounds each, and each is worth about 1,000 gp.

Page 6 – Room 22
Currently:
The Urns weigh about 25 pounds each, but if the PCs manage to carry them out they are worth about 50 Gp each.
Suggest:
The Urns weigh about 25 pounds each, but if the PCs manage to carry them out they are worth about 50 gp each.

Page 6 – Room 22 – paragraph 2
Extra letter bolded
Cuurently:
A save v. Death Ray (Dex bonus or penalty applied) will allow the victim to catch their balance enough…
Suggest:
A save v. Death Ray (Dex bonus or penalty applied) will allow the victim to catch their balance enough...

Page 6 – Room 25 – paragraph 2
Currently:
...which will immediately attack the nearest PCs closest to them.
Suggest:
...which will immediately attack the PC closest to them.

Pages 8 and 9 has OGL License in the header should be Maps

Page 9 – Map for rooms 11 to 26
Room 24 isn’t marked on the map.
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chiisu81
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Re: Tomb of Thorin Zuse

Post Mon Apr 03, 2017 9:47 am

Thanks Al! R7 has been uploaded to first post. Maps edited and fit onto 1 page. The header is still incorrect, but will be fixed once this is put into AA2.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
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