The Fane at Mount Shanaz

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AlMan
Posts: 88
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2015 5:01 pm

Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Mon Jun 06, 2016 4:00 pm

Here are my current edits:
JL3 The Fane at Mount Shanez
Pg 2 – The Torn Scroll Inn – Description of Cyril Ketill
HP boxes have extra line between the rows

Bolding the magic item Ring of Protrection in Cyril’s equipment.

Pg3, Pg 4 and Pg 5 – Wandering monster tables
Make the first column header as two rows to allow more room for the Encounter column. This will also help in limiting that large amount of dead space in the tables.

Pg 5 – Wandering monster table – Random chest entry
No details of what is inside the chest, if you copy this from the Castle Devlyn module remember to bold the magic based items.

Pg 6 – Gallus – Third paragraph
Name consistency
Currently: Gullan will ask the party to wait while his shield guardian to finish the rudimentary bridge so they may cross the Nilletra.
Should be: Gallus will ask the party to wait for his shield guardian to finish the rudimentary bridge so they may cross the Nilletra.

Pg 6 – The Fane at Mount Shanaz – First paragraph
Currently: Smoke and ash fill the air near it, but not has reached the Fane let alone any further in-land.
Should be: Smoke and ash fill the air near it, but has not reached the Fane let alone any further in-land.

Pg 7 and Pg 8 – Various Rooms
Room 10, and 15, through 38 Have little or no descriptions. If some of the underground rooms are going to be taller should the stairs going down go further than one level more like two or three levels down to give room for the higer ceilings of the tall rooms?

Pg 8 – 14. The Works of Sana Francesca
The pictures are mentioned but no other details about what is in them or effects to PCs are given.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Wed Jun 08, 2016 11:11 am

Thanks for corrections and suggestions Al! I've still got to give this some serious attention to finish the empty rooms and start putting in creatures. May have some time this weekend to sit down in my now-cleaner office...

R8 uploaded.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Wed Jun 29, 2016 9:12 am

R9 uploaded; added creatures.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Fri Jul 08, 2016 11:40 am

R10 uploaded; little bit of treasure sprinkled around.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Mon Oct 31, 2016 9:30 am

R11 uploaded; almost there.
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AlMan
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:18 pm

The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Page 2 – If the temple and/or castle haven’t… - paragraph 1
Currently:
Cyril's face is friendly but troubled as he looks out to at the party, and says
Suggest:
Cyril's face is friendly but troubled as he looks at the party, and says,

Page 2 – If the temple and/or castle has… - paragraph 1
Currently:
...his face is friendly but troubled as he looks out to at the party, and says
Suggest:
...his face is friendly but troubled as he looks at the party, and says,

Page 2 – If the temple and/or castle has… - paragraph 2
Would Cyril mention this to the party if he knew the party was the group that cleared the temple and/or castle?
Suggest:
If the party finished Hillman Point and/or Castle Devyn, Cyril will say, “Ever since you cleared the trouble at the temple and the castle there are still problems on the island and the people are stilled worried.”

Page 4 – Troll
The HP blocks for the second troll are split across the columns, is there a way to have them together?

Page 6 – Gallus
Do you have a way to handle this encounter if the party has gone through “Reclamation of Castle Devyn”?

Page 8 – 3. Grand Hall – Chimera stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 8 – 5. Butcher Room – paragraph 1
Currently:
The curtains leading into this rooms are pristine like the rest in the Fane,
Suggest:
The curtains leading into this room are pristine like the rest in the Fane,

Elemental stats in parenthesis

Page 9 – 12. Chapel – Elemental stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 9 – 13. Private Worship – Stone Golem stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 9 – 14. The Works of Sana Francesca – paragraph one
Currently:
When a viewer stand within two feet of the painting and remains still for more than a brief moment, the sensation of that element will spring to life and surround the viewer, engaging all five senses.
Suggest:
When a viewer stands within two feet of the painting and remains still for more than a brief moment, the sensation of that element will spring to life and surround the viewer, engaging all five senses.

Page 10 – North (wind)
Currently:
A gust of wind will circulate the viewer, moving anything worn but not secured in a clockwise direction.
Suggest:
A gust of wind will circulate around the viewer, moving anything worn but not secured in a clockwise direction.

Page 10 – 15. Study – Invisible Stalker stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 10 – Rooms 18, 19 and 20 have no description.
Suggest:
18. Priest’s Office: This is where the high priest would have discussions concerning the under priests and business of the church. There is a desk with an old oil lamp. If the lamp is rubbed a Djinni will appear from it.

19: Priest’s Quarters: This room has a simple bed and a single candle in a stand on a small side table next to the bed.

20: Private Lavatory: This is a simple restroom so the priest doesn’t have to walk down all the stairs in the middle of the night. The hole dumps out to the moat far below. There is nothing of use in this room.

Page 10 – 18 – Djinni stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 10 – 22. Name
This room doesn’t have a name or description.

Page 10 – Blink dog stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 11 – 25. Guards’ Quarters – Minotaur stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 11 – 26. Wide Hallway – Mummy stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 11 – Rooms 27, 28 and 29 have no names or descriptions.

Page 12 – Rooms 32, 33 and 34 have no names or descriptions.

Page 12 – 32. - Hellhound stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 12 – 34. - Medusae stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 12 – 37. Large Crypt – no room description

Page 12 – 37. Large Crypt – Black Pudding stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 12 – 38 – Crypt – Giant Caecilia stats
The stats block has parenthesis around it, other adventures don’t have this.

Page 13 – Outcome no descriptions
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Fri Mar 24, 2017 9:08 am

Thanks Al! I've incorporated your edits for R12.
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chiisu81
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Re: The Fane at Mount Shanaz

Post Mon Apr 17, 2017 1:30 pm

R13 uploaded. Still have some rooms and details left to fill out. Mostly worked on more boxed text, and added citation for the Field Guide on the OGL license page.
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