Fire Mountain

Creating game materials? Monsters, spells, classes, adventures? This is the place!
User avatar
AlMan
Posts: 86
Joined: Fri Jun 26, 2015 5:01 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Thu Mar 30, 2017 10:16 pm

Here are my edits.

Fire Mountain Corrections

Page 2 paragraph 3 verb tense
Currently:
If the party give him a day he can use his last magical ingredients to create a number of potions, equal to the number of characters.
Suggest:
If the party gives him a day he can use his last magical ingredients to create a number of potions, equal to the number of characters.

Currently:
Leofric will ask each character which of the available potions will he like.
Suggest:
Leofric will ask each character which of the available potions he or she would like.

Page 4 – 8. Hidden Door
Currently:
The passage widens into small cave.
Suggest:
The passage widens into a small cave.

Should the rooms be renumbered so there aren’t repeat number from 9 on up?

Page 5 – 10. Prison – paragraph 3
Currently:
When they were first put in the cage it held several other prisoners, but they have taken away one by one and fed to Sycorax.
Suggest:
When they were first put in the cage it held several other prisoners, but the others have been taken away one by one and fed to Sycorax.

Page 5 – 11. Secret Passage – paragraph 1
Currently:
The passage ends in solid rock wall which conceals another secret door.
Suggest:
The passage ends in a solid rock wall which conceals another secret door.

Page 6 – 14. The Cavern of Sycorax – text box paragraph 1
Currently:
Suddenly you hear a loud flapping sound and looking up you see a large red dragon swooping down from high perch.
Suggest:
Suddenly you hear a loud flapping sound and looking up you see a large red dragon swooping down from his high perch.

Page 8 – 17. Large Bronze Doors – paragraph 3
Currently:
At this point they will be spotted and would be well advised to scarper.
Suggest:
At this point they will be spotted and would be well advised to scamper.

Page 8 – 18. Small Archway – Lizard Men
Paragraph 1 of this section states there are ”two lizard man sentries” there is only one lizard mans stats listed.

Page 9 – paragraph 1
Currently:
If the characters somehow reach the highest level of village,
Suggest:
If the characters somehow reach the highest level of the village,

Page 10 – Conclusion
May need to conclude the original quest of getting the black diamond back to Leofric and if he is actually able to create a cure from it. (It would appear so since the next adventure is set within Drakeshaven.)

Also don't forget to include proofreaders that made suggestions in the rest of the posts on this adventure.
User avatar
chiisu81
Posts: 2125
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Fri Mar 31, 2017 8:15 am

Thanks Al! R10 posted.
Should the rooms be renumbered so there aren’t repeat number from 9 on up?
Yes they should. That'll take some time with an image editor, I may be able to work on it this weekend.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
Adventure Template | Style Guide
My works on Showcase
User avatar
chiisu81
Posts: 2125
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Tue Apr 04, 2017 3:26 pm

Have started working on re-numbering the map images but will take a bit to get it all straightened.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
Adventure Template | Style Guide
My works on Showcase
User avatar
chiisu81
Posts: 2125
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Wed Apr 05, 2017 8:51 am

Ok I've uploaded R11. Most of the numbers have been fixed, but there's still a few (particularly the entrance chamber, cavern of sycorax, and fire mountain maps) that I know need further work; I just need another set of eyes to help out.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
Adventure Template | Style Guide
My works on Showcase
User avatar
chiisu81
Posts: 2125
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Fri Apr 14, 2017 2:40 pm

R12 uploaded. The maps still need fixing, I just worked on text corrections and adding more boxed text.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
Adventure Template | Style Guide
My works on Showcase
User avatar
vskull
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 3:46 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Fri Apr 28, 2017 11:53 am

I didn't see this in the current edit, but could a line be added at the beginning stating how many players this adventure is suited for and their level range?

Something like:

For x to x Player Characters, Levels x to x
User avatar
chiisu81
Posts: 2125
Joined: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:05 pm

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Fri Apr 28, 2017 4:47 pm

I'll let someone smarter than me give me suggestions for number of players and what level range, and I'll update. Will need to do this for Drakestein Island as well.
I like to point out spelling mistakes and post GIFs.
Adventure Template | Style Guide
My works on Showcase
User avatar
Solomoriah
Site Admin
Posts: 6901
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2008 8:15 pm
Location: LaBelle, Missouri
Contact:

Re: Fire Mountain

Post Fri Apr 28, 2017 5:20 pm

John Dutton last visited more than a year ago. It seems likely he's not getting notifications about this thread. You might try emailing him.
My personal site: www.gonnerman.org
Post Reply