Alright! I'm uploading my corrections, suggestions, and questions for all creatures starting with A.
Some of my thoughts so far:
1)
The Advi naming convention is strange. The name in the stat blocks are "Advi, X", but in the text the name is just "Advi X". Is Advi a descriptor like Nazgorean or Infernal, or is that part of the name? Also the 'X' part of the name is inconsistent. One is a concrete object that does things, the other two are abstract concepts. Would X Advi make more sense?
2)
Technically the sentences about shamans and witch doctors in the Aeromi village description don't follow convention (see hobgoblins in core rules), but it still makes sense, and I didn't feel like correcting it.
3)
I think the Armorer still needs a lot of work. Looking through the old posts, I found that Solo and Dimirag are as confused as I am, and that bodmir-the-gnome is the creator. It seems like it's trying to be a variant of a mimic, but I don't know what should be done about it.
The other problem (which several monsters in both FG1, and FG2 have) is that the description only says what it
does, and not what it
is, or what it looks like, or how it does whatever it is that it does.
Notation
Pg. # page number
P# paragraph number
-"..." text to be changed
I"..." w/ (Pg.#), (P#) "..." inconsistency between two texts
C"..." correction text; only for strictly incorrect grammar or style, or consisteny with the core rules
S"..." suggestion text; for clarity or ease (this is usually just, like, my opinion, man)
Q("...") [question] question about quoted or changed text
N no corrections
Pg.2
P1
-"They appear as silvery spheres with faint green geometric patterns appearing on their surfaces."
S"They appear as silvery spheres with faint green geometric patterns on their surfaces."
I"They appear as silvery spheres..." w/ P4 "An Advi Charity is a cylinder of silvery metal..."
S"They appear as silvery objects..." or "An Advi Charity is a sphere of silvery metal..."
P2
-"An Advi Avenger appears as..."
S"An Avenger Advi appears as..." or "An Avenger appears as..."
I"...a single large "eye". Its sharp..." w/ P3 "beam from its 'eye' at a..."
S"...a single large 'eye'. Its sharp..."
P3
Q"... and will set fire to whatever it hits." To *whatever* it hits? or just to flammable objects? Does this include people?
P4
-"An Advi Charity is a..."
S"A Charity Advi is a..." or "A Charity is a..."
-"... with dozens of small protrusions all over its body that glow a faint orange."
S"... with dozens of small protrusions, that glow a faint orange, all over its body."
Q How does it move? The Avenger has legs, does the Charity as well? Does it levitate?
P5
I"... these protrusions, targeting any foe within 80 feet." w/ Advi, Charity Stat Block "No.of Attacks: 4 fireballs"
Q Should I assume each foe is attacked with 4 fireballs apiece?
S"... these protrusions, targeting up to 4 foes within 80 feet."
P6
-"An Advi Diligence is a..."
S"A Diligence Advi is a..." or "A Diligence is a..."
Q How does it move? It has appendages to hold tools, does it use these to walk? If so, shouldn't the No. of Attacks be reduced?
P7
N
P8
-"...with ample star or moonlight, an aeromi..."
S"...with ample starlight or moonlight, an aeromi..."
P9
-"...reaches of these forests. An Aeromi tends to carry little to allow mobility, but may..."
S"...reaches of these forests. P/ An Aeromi tends carry little, to allow mobility, but may..."
Pg.3
P1
-"... fastened about its body in between the anchor points..."
C"... fastened about its body between the anchor points..." (formal) or "fastened about its body inbetween the anchor points..." (informal)
S"... fastened between the anchor points..."
P2
-"... there will be a aeromi chieftain of 6 Hit Dice..."
C"... there will be an aeromi chieftain of 6 Hit Dice..."
P3
Q"The captured weapon will have ten charges." Why always exactly 10 charges?
P4
-"...ability during an encounter. It may also use this ability in a non-combat situation."
S"...ability during an encounter."
P5
N
P6
-"...although it can alter it's general shape to fit into a similar volume of space."
S"...although it can alter it's general shape to fit into a similar volume."
Pg. 4
P1
N
P2
-"... and also suffer energy drain."
S"... and also suffer one level of energy drain."
P3
N
P4
Q"...an amalgam may be Turned by a Cleric (as specters, but with a -6 penalty on the roll)" This is equal to turning a ghost below level 12 (impossible), harder than turning a ghost at level 12 (impossible vs 20), equal at level 13 (19 or higher), and easier than turning a ghost above level 13 (advantage of +1 or +2 or guaranteed). There's nothing confusing about this, but why do it this way? Why Not just make it turn as a ghost? Unless there are ways for a cleric to get a bonus to turning, then it changes things a lot. I just think it’s odd is all.
P5
N
P6
-"An amaroki operating equally in day or night, but generally prefers night."
C"An amaroki operating equally in day or night, but generally prefering night."
Q Is amaroki plural, and amarok singular?
S"An amarok is an active predator which prefers to hunt at night, but is equally capable during the day."
-"Due to its strength, each has a +1 bonus on damage rolls when weapons are utilized."
Q Why only when using weapons?
C"If weapons are employed, an amarok has a +1 to damage due to strength."
P7
N
Pg.5
P1
Q"... latches onto an armored host to replace armor of any sort, including magical sets." How does this happen without the host noticing? How does the original armor get to the extra-dimensional space? What happens if they just take the armorer off?
-"... functions the same as the armor it replaced, though it cannot have any special abilities of the armor."
S"... grants the same armor class as the armor type it replaced, but does not replicate any other special abilities."
P2
-"When an armorer's host is badly hurt the armorer will attack the host using the armor it has assumed; because of this, the armorer inflicts damage depending on the armor type."
C"When a host is badly hurt, the armorer will attack..."
S"When a host is badly hurt, the armorer will attack. The damage done depends on the type of armor that was assumed."
Q How does it do this damage? Is it constricting the host, or doing something else? Does it literally use the other piece of armor? If it's invulnerable to mundane weapons, then why doesn't it attack sooner? This would kill anything without a magic weapon very quickly. Why doesn’t it just do that?
-"Once the host is killed the armorer will hold the creature that died within its armored form and live off its corpse until another suitable host is found."
C"Once the host is killed, the armorer..."
S"Once the host is killed, the armorer will live off the corpse until another suitable host is found."
-"Once a host is found, the armorer will drop the corpse in a nearby location to be discovered and replace the armor that the new host is wearing."
C"Once a host is found, the armorer will drop the corpse in a nearby location, to be discovered, and replace the armor that the new host is wearing."
Q Why is the location "to be discovered"? Does it want to leave evidence? Why is there still a corpse? Why doesn’t it eat it?
S"Once a new host is found, the armorer will drop the corpse and replace the armor that the new host is wearing."
P3
-"Due to this creature's nature it can only be hit
my magical weapons or spells."
C"Due to this creature's nature it can only be hit
by magical weapons or spells."
Q What exactly is its nature? Magical? Is ' Due to this creature's nature...' even a necessary phrase?
-"If the creature dies on a host, the armor they were originally wearing re-appears near them, returning from the extra-dimensional space it was being held in."
Q What are methods of killing the armorer other than attacking the host? Again, what if the armorer is simply removed? How and why does the armor simply return?