Terror in Tosasth

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Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

8.

"The ornate basalt sarcophagus depicts a priest performing a ceremony over fire bursting from a cauldron. A large sword is carved into the triangular top. "

"performing a ceremony" is probably not descriptive enough for boxed text. I'd describe the attire of the priest, what pose he's striking and mention that his mouth is open. Something like that. I'm not sure what triangular top is. The top of the sarcophagus? The top of the cauldron?

"The carving of the sword is not part of the top and may be pried off to reveal a real +0 longsword underneath."

So, it's like a haut relief?

10.

"causing a failure in 20 - 120 seconds. Thieves can descend 20’/round. "

This feels like a quiz question. For 500, what is how many seconds in a round?


"Draped over a pyramidal boulder is a mummified body wearing fine leather armor "

That's down in the rubble and not in the room, right?

"A deep moan bounces up from the 4’ crack."

Why is it bouncing and not just rising? And what is causing it?


"Mixed into rubble is a ruined sarcophagus"

Maybe mixed in the rubble. Otherwise it sounds like another beer recipe.


"The glint of a single gold piece is seen about 10’ down the passage through the crack."

Assuming a light source reaches it. Should probably be listed at the top since that's the first thing that will happen.

11. "The green door with a central knocker swings inward easily to reveal a sealed granite sarcophagus."

The box text doesn't give the PCs any opportunity to use the knocker. Maybe break it into boxes, one for the door and one for the room?

12. " Anyone standing the ooze will have 1d10 rot grubs crawling
up their legs"

Probably in the ooze.

Overall, I find the ordering confusing. Most of the entry depicts what happens when the secret door is open but the mechanism to open it is described at the very end. I'd put that first.

14. "Racks of bottles, mostly empty and uncorked, are stacked on the west wall. Boxes of dry food are stacked on the east wall."

Maybe stacked against the wall rather than stacked on the wall?

16. "Three beds are arranged equally, each with a trunk at the foot."

I'm not sure what arranged equally means here. The concept of equality is that everyone gets the same thing. Each room has 3 beds? The beds are spaced evenly along the wall? Or is that the space is arranged equally around the beds?

Might as well specify which bed is not occupied and which trunk has the diary.

19.

Again, I find it weird that you go through the trouble of giving names to every monster/bandit but don't specify which one has the pearl.

20. Manny's equipment should include 2 daggers, not one.

21. Giant rats feast on refuse, dead bodies and excrement discarded into chasm."

Maybe "into the chasm"?
Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

Strange Extrusion (Care to explain the title?)
Seems quite tough for 3rd level characters.

Could use an intro.

Basement.

So, no stairs? Just a shaft between the levels?

Second floor

" An open doorway drops 50’ drop to the ground."

Maybe drop the second drop.

8.

Missing box text?

Third flour

"Four doorways open directly to the shaft, offer a scant 5’ landing and end in a door, made either of oak or iron."

I think it would read better as "Four doorways open directly to the shaft. Each offer a scant..."

9. Also missing boxed text.

10. "The sword’s hilt features a pommel formed with the delicate features of a turbined warrior. "

Maybe turbaned instead.
Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

Ebahi’s Hideout

"Ebahi is an elven vampire, originally from Tosasth who made a new home in dug into the rock beneath a graveyard."

Maybe a "new home dug into the rock"?

2. Rellorant’s Coffin:

"A floor-to-ceiling curtain on the north wall hides an unlocked door."

The boxed text should tell what's apparent when you look into a room. Not what's hidden behind curtains.
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leon
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by leon »

Thanks the ongoing edits, Seven! I'll update the top post with revision 3.

I realized Room #12 in Elab Jarr was confusing due a map omission that I've corrected. The 2D version wasn't showing the secret door. Essentially, there's a secret door with room full of ooze and rot grubs. All that ooze only comes out if you find the door and open it.

Strange Extrusion is just a way to say "weird thing pushing out of the ground". I guess it could be tough for 3rd levels who aren't careful. When I ran it, only one PC died, but that fight with the hellhounds was brutal.

On boxed text, I didn't prepare it for every room, but let me know if a room missing box text would really benefit from adding it.
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.

EmptyZ Campaign Blog: emptyz.com/blog
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Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

8. Ithusha:

"The urns are painted with the horned face of Molok."

Who's Molok?

9.

"Down set of stair to a locked door, faint gurgling of water may be heard."

Maybe "stairs" ?
Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

Ebahi Family Tomb

"1d6 hours of searching will reveal the entrance clogged with with boulders."

One extra "with".

Are the Giant Demonic Centipedes a monster described later? If so maybe mention it.

4. Elwimroth’s Sacrifice:
"Elves recognize the ambiguous meaning of the ancient phraseology."

I know I'm not an elf, but is there something specific to give to an elf player here?

6. Iron Blobs:

The box text shouldn't tell how deep the shaft is. That would depend on the illumination the players have.

7. Cave Worms:

Here again, I'd rather know which worm has the treasure inside.
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leon
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by leon »

Good catch on the Molok thing. I added some text to the background material:
Molokotu is made in the image of Molok, a demon worshiped by cults, including some in ancient Tosasth. Some people of the current age recognize Molok’s distorted features and the bull’s horns protruding from his skull. More than one handbook written for would-be adventurers promotes shrines to Molok as exceedingly worthy of raiding.
Or "that guy on the cover of the 1E PHB". ;)

I guess I'll strike the "demonic" label of those giant centipedes. They are just normal giant centipedes that cause STR damage.

Elwimroth’s Sacrifice: did he endure a hardship or did he make an offering to a diety? Seems like the kind of question an elf would bring up to annoy a dwarf.
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.

EmptyZ Campaign Blog: emptyz.com/blog
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Seven
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Seven »

Well, since the ambiguous meaning is apparent to anyone, I was wondering if it was a case of it being unambiguous to an elf.
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leon
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by leon »

Right, too boring as written. Also, if only elves can read the runes, I better leave the meaning out of the boxed text.
Elven runes are carved into the natural rock wall.

►Though written in archaic form, an elf may read the runes as "Elwimroth sacrificed". Additionally, Elwimroth is a name suggesting ill intent, while diacritical marks around the runes indicate a holy rite.
Something like "Sauron saves" written on a cave wall.
I solemnly swear to fulfill the game master's oath to the best of my ability and judgment.

EmptyZ Campaign Blog: emptyz.com/blog
Personal Blog: leonatkinson.com
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Elf_Bait
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Re: Terror in Tosasth

Post by Elf_Bait »

This is an insane amount of work. Truly inspiring.
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