Interludes Between Adventures

[_Silveredged]

The second applicant, the particularly rude one, tells the pervert halfling exactly what he can do to himself.

"Well that's just rude," Leo says, "and I know a thing or two about being rude." He gives a look to the second applicant, then a sly wink that only he could see. If there's going to be a bar fight, let's make sure its a fun one...

[Iain_IF]

Paladin, of course, requires both applicants to prove they can hoist a Halfling with one hand. Paladin grins gleefully and looks for Doughbert. Unfortunately, the priest is nowhere in sight. With a sigh, Paladin puts down his drink and says, " Imagine I'm unconscious. It isn't that hard to do!" than he waits to see if either of them can carry him one handed.

The first of the two remaining applicants, the more resilient looking one, is deeply suspicious of this request. Is it some sort of trick question? Is the halfling trying to pull a scam? As soon as they lay a hand on him, is he going to shout "guards! guards!" and have them arrested? But eventually, after suitable reassurance, they raise the halfling in the air as requested.

The second applicant, the particularly rude one, tells the pervert halfling exactly what he can do to himself.

Right, 20% it is! says Paladin, paying off the second one with a beer. Let's get you set up with some gear!

OOC: I'll buy him some stuff and write a wrap up post for Paladin's actions.

[JoeCarr28]

I've started a "Retainer Roster" topic so that you can flesh-out your new companion. Apart from the fields I've completed, the rest is a blank canvas - develop and equip him/her as you see fit.

[Joe the Rat]

Consider the 52gp deducted. Also, 150gp to 30pp. Will update when I get to real computer.

[Iain_IF]

It is a long and exhausting vacation for Paladin. Between outfitting his new bodyguard, drinking, wooing Karl's cousin, drinking, bustling about with Steep the Cackler-Prigger, and drinking, he doesn't have much time for his favorite activity: Eating!

Paladin gets the silver service out of hock and provides it the Bertie as surety against his bar tab. The silver service gleams as Will spits repeatedly on it and polishes it over and over with a dirty rag. While you wouldn't want to drink or eat off of them, their sparkle behind the bar certainly adds a little je ne sais quoi to the Wheatsheaf. Bertie seems a bit perplexed at the arrangement, but he also appears to be quite capable of keeping a running tally of the debt Paladin is incurring. One can almost see the "Soon this will be all mine!" wheels turning behind Kitchener's eyes.

Paladin drunkenly tries to seduce a local woman, Ramona, and, as you might imagine, fails miserably. Karl comes and collects her. Paladin's quite put out, though he feels better once he discovers she is Karl's cousin. Paladin assumes it is not the kissing kind.

Benoni Asher, Paladin's new bodyguard, becomes, as one might expect, Paladin's new, best frenemy. Paladin wanders drunkenly about town, visiting stores with Benoni in tow. Benoni constantly hovers, pulling Paladin out of the way of trampling horses, men, and dogs, while loudly proclaiming how Paladin will be the end of him! Regardless, Paladin makes a special trip to the smith to get Benoni outfitted.

Paladin makes idle chatter with Karl about the nicer qualities of his cousin: her large feet, the hairiness of them, and how those factors make her even more appealing to Paladin than her otherwise curvaceous form. Karl seems unperturbed by the comments, but the horseshoes that he's pounding on seem much flatter than the other ones for sale. Regardless, Karl's boss, Angus seems very willing to sell Paladin a set of chain mail, slightly used, that he's recently come into. Paladin passes an appraising eye over the rather familiar chain mail and makes his offer. Oddly enough, Angus, standing with one hand on Karl's shoulder, seems unwilling to take anything less than full price for it. Karl smirks. After minutes of fruitless negotiations, Paladin buys the armor, a scimitar, and a few shields for good measure. Leaving the forge, Paladin hums a few bars from Rocky Raccoon.

Every night, or so it seems, the Wheatsheaf finds impromptu entertainment as Paladin insists that Benoni practice what, Paladin is certain, will be Benoni's most important job. An inebriated Paladin finds himself picked bodily up by one foot, slung onto a shield, and hauled around the room. The first time Paladin insists on doing so, dozens of coins fall from his pockets, greatly enhancing the enjoyment of the Wheatsheaf's patrons. Oddly enough, Paladin seems to have learned from the experience, and after that first time he drinks up most of his coin before he undergoes Benoni's practice.

Karl's cousin, Ramona, visits the Wheatsheaf, and Paladin tries to chat her up again. By now, he's switched to cider with vodka added to it, so he's got a lot to say. Eventually, Karl shows up again to collect her from Paladin's sad attempts to fraternize. Paladin seems more put out this time than the last. Thereafter, cats are seen around town running from firebrands tied to their tails. Paladin whistles dark tunes, and Benoni eyes his employer warily.

Day after day, Paladin harasses, for there is no better word for it, a poor traveler who Paladin calls Steep the Cackler-Prigger. The poor traveler calls himself Hiram and says he's a peddler who's doing some repair work for the mayor, Baril Rouse. Indeed, Hiram, every day, goes to the mayor's house with tools and leaves dirtier than when he came. Regardless, Paladin follows him around, aping his every move and nodding sagely when Hiram, or is it Steep, tells him off. With Benoni in Paladin's wake, Steep, or is it Hiram, can't really do much more than verbally threaten Paladin or shake his fist at him. Oddly enough, Paladin seems to become more confident and move more smoothly as he continues his acquaintance with Steep/Hiram, and when Hiram/Steep finally finishes his work for Baril and leaves town, Paladin seems oddly content.

Paladin spends his spare in-between time spreading silver coins near and far asking questions about Morward, his dwarven lieutenant, and the halfling bandits; and the tower where the goblins are rumored to be. Paladin is perplexed by the vast number of blank stares he gets. After all, the bandits must have been stealing from someone! Were none of those people near Marketstone? Paladin begins to suspect the whole town is in on a conspiracy.

By the time that Bertie is ready for them, Paladin is down to his last coin!