Basic Fantasy RPG Forums

Here are my edits.

Fire Mountain Corrections

Page 2 paragraph 3 verb tense
Currently:
If the party give him a day he can use his last magical ingredients to create a number of potions, equal to the number of characters.
Suggest:
If the party gives him a day he can use his last magical ingredients to create a number of potions, equal to the number of characters.

Currently:
Leofric will ask each character which of the available potions will he like.
Suggest:
Leofric will ask each character which of the available potions he or she would like.

Page 4 – 8. Hidden Door
Currently:
The passage widens into small cave.
Suggest:
The passage widens into a small cave.

Should the rooms be renumbered so there aren’t repeat number from 9 on up?

Page 5 – 10. Prison – paragraph 3
Currently:
When they were first put in the cage it held several other prisoners, but they have taken away one by one and fed to Sycorax.
Suggest:
When they were first put in the cage it held several other prisoners, but the others have been taken away one by one and fed to Sycorax.

Page 5 – 11. Secret Passage – paragraph 1
Currently:
The passage ends in solid rock wall which conceals another secret door.
Suggest:
The passage ends in a solid rock wall which conceals another secret door.

Page 6 – 14. The Cavern of Sycorax – text box paragraph 1
Currently:
Suddenly you hear a loud flapping sound and looking up you see a large red dragon swooping down from high perch.
Suggest:
Suddenly you hear a loud flapping sound and looking up you see a large red dragon swooping down from his high perch.

Page 8 – 17. Large Bronze Doors – paragraph 3
Currently:
At this point they will be spotted and would be well advised to scarper.
Suggest:
At this point they will be spotted and would be well advised to scamper.

Page 8 – 18. Small Archway – Lizard Men
Paragraph 1 of this section states there are ”two lizard man sentries” there is only one lizard mans stats listed.

Page 9 – paragraph 1
Currently:
If the characters somehow reach the highest level of village,
Suggest:
If the characters somehow reach the highest level of the village,

Page 10 – Conclusion
May need to conclude the original quest of getting the black diamond back to Leofric and if he is actually able to create a cure from it. (It would appear so since the next adventure is set within Drakeshaven.)

Also don't forget to include proofreaders that made suggestions in the rest of the posts on this adventure.

Thanks Al! R10 posted.

Should the rooms be renumbered so there aren’t repeat number from 9 on up?

Yes they should. That'll take some time with an image editor, I may be able to work on it this weekend.

Have started working on re-numbering the map images but will take a bit to get it all straightened.

Ok I've uploaded R11. Most of the numbers have been fixed, but there's still a few (particularly the entrance chamber, cavern of sycorax, and fire mountain maps) that I know need further work; I just need another set of eyes to help out.

R12 uploaded. The maps still need fixing, I just worked on text corrections and adding more boxed text.

I didn't see this in the current edit, but could a line be added at the beginning stating how many players this adventure is suited for and their level range?

Something like:

For x to x Player Characters, Levels x to x

I'll let someone smarter than me give me suggestions for number of players and what level range, and I'll update. Will need to do this for Drakestein Island as well.

John Dutton last visited more than a year ago. It seems likely he's not getting notifications about this thread. You might try emailing him.

r13 uploaded to first post. Thanks AlMan!

Here is some of what I did.

Put into newer Adventure Template.

Provided an Introduction for the first page of the module that didn’t involve the Introduction in the actual module.

Replaced caravan with vardo.

Changed:
save vs. Dragon’s Breath
To:
save + DEX bonus or penalty vs. Dragon’s Breath

Changed:
save vs. Poison
To:
save vs. Death Ray

Changed
ft
To
‘

Americanized the spelling of some words including: favourite to favorite; goal(er) to jail(er); centre to center; coloured to colored

Moved Teaman’s image to where it is described in the module.
(Still think this is a great image, Teaman.) (Chii, there is also a color version of the image in the thread, possible cover?)

We may also want to note that Fire Mountain was the first module that John Dutton submitted and that Mystery of Drakestein Island is the second. Wulfric's Tomb which was included in AA2 is actually the third module of the series.